Loose Ends

It's been two long years since that fateful day, two years of pain and silent suffering, two years of learning and healing, two years of contemplating and planning. I didn't know it back then, but that day would be a landmark in my life. It would mark the end of an era and shatter many of my beliefs and destroy values that I once held dear. Fate had already planned for you to go and I see that more than clearly now, as much as I fought for otherwise it just would not be. It's a shame that I ignored all the early warning signs that would have saved me many a strain, the visions were clear and the opportunities were many, but I ignored them all.

The say that love is blind and that is why it's scars are deep, I would agree! After all it's taken me an entire two years to get to this point in my life where I can safely say I'm finally over you and I'm ready to move forward. The mistrust and fear is gone, the worry and concern still lingers, but those are from the lessons learnt. I allowed myself to be fooled by you and I paid the ultimate price for my foolish heart. Let this be the last of you that will reside in me, now cast out never to return again, it's funny that after all this time the bad feelings are gone and I can see who you really are. I still see the person I fell in love with, but I also see a person I previously was blind to. I must admit that this sight has revealed a new gift in me, my eyes are now able to take time and act as early warning sensors for they see into the soul and not just the flesh. Had I not met you the experiences I've gained and the people I've met would have been blind to me, so I thank you for that too. Most of all I thank you for allowing me to do the one thing that has eluded me for many years, and that's the ability to open my heart and truly love.

If not for your scheming ways I would not have seen my own weaknesses, and would have been another educated ignorant fool walking this planet. God truly knows what he did when he sent you into my life, and as I said then and I say now, you're a heaven sent and that you will always be. I am thankful that you were in my life and for all that I've learnt, you truly were instrumental in helping me grow into the man that I am today. I'm no longer mad at you for what happened as I now know that this is life and it can happen to anyone at anytime for any reason. I have a better understanding of who I am as a whole and even though it will take time for me to rebuild my life the future is clear as to where I'm going and what I want for me in my life and my happiness.

Perhaps the most important lesson you've taught me though, is that despite all my knowledge I still have alot to learn and many a way to go in life. Now that I can see that my veil of arrogance is gone and the real me can step forward into a new light and new life with confidence and assertiveness. If you ever get to read this I wish you well in life and hope that you accomplish all that your heart desires

Let this be the final knot to tie in these loose ends, be well Starriegold Kallie!!!