Do you know what life is like to be with? How do you even know if you're living with? Before those questions are answered you must first understand the concept of living with and living without. The definition of living with is defined as one's ability to maintain the most essential of needs for true human existence, these essentials are broken down into five (5) fundamentals:
1) Compassion - is defined as an ability to not only understand the situation of another individual by metaphorically placing yourself in the same situation.
2) Confidence - is well known to many people but very misunderstood as well. Confidence is the drive that allows a person to perform a task or assignment under varying conditions,
3) Knowledge - is more than having information, but the ability to correctly interpret and utilize said information
4) Kindness - more than an extension of compassion, kindness is what allows us to be charitable and go beyond the call of duty. Compassion without kindness is possible as you can correctly place yourself in someone else's shoes but not feel anything for them.
5) Determination - is the overall driving force behind anything that we do, without it nothing is accomplished as we will not want to even make a basic attempt to commence a task.
So now that you know what living with is supposed to be, ask yourself, how many of these five (5) items do you honestly possess? I'll make life a little easier for you since you're still unsure and break them down even further. People with real compassion are those who allow themselves to suffer in the same situation as another for the purpose of lending assistance to alleviate the person's suffering. To have true compassion for someone, you must be able to utilize emotions to cause healing. Compassionate people are those who are able to see the troubles of the heart and act to ease those troubles willingly and without needing rewards in return. So if you want to know if you are compassionate, ask yourself, when was the last time you did something for someone without asking for reward or favour in return? At this point in time you should consider that people who live with this trait are some of the happiest people on earth and some of the more fulfilled. They are the ones who seem contented with what's before them and ask only that they can help more. Charity is no strange word for these people and even if it means that they must suffer a little for someone else to gain then so be it! So ask yourself seriously are you living WITH compassion?
So you're now sure about the first step, but what about your confidence level? Don't be fooled by the simplicity of the word, real confidence is always subject to interpretation. While the general meaning of the word is agreed upon, behavioural scientist have made a more focused definition and it is from this perspective where we shall look. A person's confidence is their ability to perform a given task with the understanding that their capabilities and talent is able to accomplish the said task without fear or failure. Confidence allows you to commence a project or initiate a conversation comfortably and sensibly. So how much confidence do you possess? Do you believe that you can accomplish all that you seek to do? Do you believe that you're able to even live up to your basic expectations? Are you even remotely sure that you can live with yourself and accept the talents that you were blessed with, or do you spend too much time wishing that you had the talents and abilities of someone else? Answering these questions honestly will go a long way in knowing whethere you truly live with or without, but just in case you're confused think of it this way, bandits who steal for a living are not confident in their ability to live an honest life nor their own ability to put their minds to work.
Knowledge is by far one of the most coveted of all human desires. In every aspect of our lives we try to learn as much of what we need to for various reasons so that we can in turn apply what we learned to accomplish a task, this transition from learning to practical is what knowledge is all about. Given that definition, ask yourself, how much knowledge do you possess in your life? Do you believe that the knowledge you have now is of any benefit whatsoever? Most of all are you confident that you even have the knowledge to succeed in life? Then there's kindness, a trait that I know for a fact many people lack because of the evil that we see in this world today. People who live with kindness are those who see no fault in assissting another human being in a time of need without expecting a reward in return. Compassion and kindness are very much connected but it is kindness that leads to compassion and compassion that drives kindness. One without the other is only half of a story so it is almost grammatically incorrect to say you are compassionate but unkind. Think about the last time you did something kind for someone other than yourself, whether it be family, friends or even a random stranger. A world with more selfless kindness is a world blessed by the almighty indeed, it's too bad that most people can't answer this question honestly.
Finally there's determination, to which if we lack it then we have no motivation whatsoever to accomplish our goals. Determination is our drive, it's the backbone to all of our motivation and comes only from within our beings. Living without determination is more than living in fear of the world, it's being trapped within a prison within ourselves that we built and threw away the key. Determination in even the smallest amount can mean the difference between happiness and a life of despair. Think you have determination, well ask yourself this, if you were on the street with no where to live would you still seek to make something of yourself in life?
If you've even made it to 2 out of 5 of these must haves in life then consider yourself to be living with, although barely. Strive hard to be better people and empower yourself by living with and not without.
Vive sin timore
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sammy The Bull
So some of you don't know or have never heard of Sammy The Bull, can't say I'm surprised but it's still a shame that such an important name in history is missing from your knowledge collection. Well to give you a brief introduction Sammy The Bull Gravano; he was the second in command of the legendary Gambino crime family back in the 80's working for the likes of John Gotti. Their rise to power came from shameless murder and unbridled greed when Sammy aided his boss/ friend to slaughter the reigning mafia boss Paul Castellano. In time to come Sammy would be the downfall of his boss John Gotti by providing the key testimony that sent him to jail for life and giving the police victory over the mafia itself. The truth of the matter is that Sammy and John were practically inseparable for many years, before his ultimate betrayal he aided John in many great escapes from the long arm of the law doing everything from rigging cases to murdering rivals and bribing government officials and law enforcement.
You would think that someone that close and that loyal would be near impossible to turn but it was done. Sammy's motivation was that he heard a tape from the F.B.I. where John was planning to incriminate him in multiple crimes in an attempt to save his own life from jail. The purpose of this blog is to remind us that we shouldn't treat those who are close to us like John and Sammy treated each other even though we do it everyday! Think about how many people you were once good with and would give the world for and now you don't even speak to or can stand to look at because of some unforgivable act that occurred between you. Even worse, think of how many people have done that to you over the years and why such behaviour is now warranted! At the end of the day, it's pointless to say we have never or would never commit such treason against our loved ones because the truth of the matter is that we not only do it daily, we do it subconsciously and without hesitation! Even I'm guilty of such actions and looking back on it, it really is a violation of how we're supposed to live! Recently I thought of how many people have passed through my life and their level of importance to me at the time, some were as valuable as oxygen and some not so much. The thing is though that even though they may have served their purpose in my life at that time, most of them I barely speak to or worse dodn't even acknowledge due to a lack of forgiveness on my part because of some evil they committed against me and that's wrong. We were born to forgive and forget but somehow we've managed to forget to do both and yet we ask the creator to forgive us! It's sad to think that after all the trouble we go through to meet and greet people, we dismiss them so easily and sometimes for the most frivilous of reasons. Don't try to exclude yourself from this because I'm very sure you had a very good friend who once slept with your lover or tried to and didn't succee, what about the friend who was such a bad friend that they forgot to call you on your birthday and you were so upset that you couldn't be seen in public with them. Some of us have even worse reasons such as those who were disrespected by a friend and vowed to take their blood, and those of us who abhor friends who talk to your other friends and for this they are out of place and should be put out to graze. No matter the reason, the bottom line is that you haven't forgiven them and as such this makes you as bad as Sammy The Bull, for it was such actions that cost him his life and his family a comfortable living.
Sammy The Bull is a notorious snitch who brought down a trusted friend for his own distrust and unforgiveness. It's shocking to think what his life would have been like had he not listened to the fake tapes the feds made him listen to. Makes you wonder how many fake stories made you disown someone who could have been a life changer in the future, or what about the loads of gossip you listened to that not only destroyed your respect for a friend but where you yourself snitched on that person and caused them many a great distress? Yes we're all guilty but at least if we can look back and see where we went wrong we can become better people and live peacefully by not behaving like Sammy The Bull Gravano.
You would think that someone that close and that loyal would be near impossible to turn but it was done. Sammy's motivation was that he heard a tape from the F.B.I. where John was planning to incriminate him in multiple crimes in an attempt to save his own life from jail. The purpose of this blog is to remind us that we shouldn't treat those who are close to us like John and Sammy treated each other even though we do it everyday! Think about how many people you were once good with and would give the world for and now you don't even speak to or can stand to look at because of some unforgivable act that occurred between you. Even worse, think of how many people have done that to you over the years and why such behaviour is now warranted! At the end of the day, it's pointless to say we have never or would never commit such treason against our loved ones because the truth of the matter is that we not only do it daily, we do it subconsciously and without hesitation! Even I'm guilty of such actions and looking back on it, it really is a violation of how we're supposed to live! Recently I thought of how many people have passed through my life and their level of importance to me at the time, some were as valuable as oxygen and some not so much. The thing is though that even though they may have served their purpose in my life at that time, most of them I barely speak to or worse dodn't even acknowledge due to a lack of forgiveness on my part because of some evil they committed against me and that's wrong. We were born to forgive and forget but somehow we've managed to forget to do both and yet we ask the creator to forgive us! It's sad to think that after all the trouble we go through to meet and greet people, we dismiss them so easily and sometimes for the most frivilous of reasons. Don't try to exclude yourself from this because I'm very sure you had a very good friend who once slept with your lover or tried to and didn't succee, what about the friend who was such a bad friend that they forgot to call you on your birthday and you were so upset that you couldn't be seen in public with them. Some of us have even worse reasons such as those who were disrespected by a friend and vowed to take their blood, and those of us who abhor friends who talk to your other friends and for this they are out of place and should be put out to graze. No matter the reason, the bottom line is that you haven't forgiven them and as such this makes you as bad as Sammy The Bull, for it was such actions that cost him his life and his family a comfortable living.
Sammy The Bull is a notorious snitch who brought down a trusted friend for his own distrust and unforgiveness. It's shocking to think what his life would have been like had he not listened to the fake tapes the feds made him listen to. Makes you wonder how many fake stories made you disown someone who could have been a life changer in the future, or what about the loads of gossip you listened to that not only destroyed your respect for a friend but where you yourself snitched on that person and caused them many a great distress? Yes we're all guilty but at least if we can look back and see where we went wrong we can become better people and live peacefully by not behaving like Sammy The Bull Gravano.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Strength and Courage
Sometimes the road is hard, things seem as if they'll never go your way! Questions circle your head asking if you've made the right decision creating doubt no matter which direction you go,but deep inside you know you're strong, if you follow your heart you can't be wrong. Stand up for what is right, be brave and get ready to fight, hold on to your true friends throughout your life, these are phrases that have been repeated in many forms and fashions, from religious interpretations to philosophical understanding, all will agree that it is via these phrases the average human grows and evolves.
In order to know that you're strong enough to make it begins with a little thing called faith. Faith is what allows the best of us to be who we are really, if you doubt me then let me take you on a journey through time to some of the greatest minds that ever graced the earth. King Solomon and his father the legendary King David, both men are beyond immortal in their accomplishments on this earth, these feats were only bested by their faith in god. From slaying giants to building impossible palaces and sharing widespread wisdom that is relevant even to this day, these men have done it all. The thing is that even they had their moments of doubt where they had to turn to their faith in god in order to accomplish all that they needed to do. So there's your first and foremost answer to life's questions, faith in god! Admittedly even I didn't understand what that fully meant until recently when I was reminded that to not have faith in god's ability to deliver is to question his very existence and you wouldn't want to do that now would you? Of course not, that's blaspheme so make sure you understand that faith in Jesus and all that his great power is capable of is mandatory to overcoming any situation. After that it's important to have a plan of action, feel free to pray about this as sometimes we must ask before we know where we have to go, no point in going on a road trip without a map! You are as blessed as anyone who has ever existed and carry the power of the almighty within you to control and manipulate all that is before you, so how come with all that power you're doubting that you can raise a child dear friend? Yes liz this is specifically for you as I honestly believe that for someone as powerful and blessed as yourself, you carry that pharisee spirit of doubt and despair! It's called a pharisee spirit because these were what the pharisees of old time used to turn support away from Jesus himself! Please understand that you've not only received a blessing dear, you've been given an opportunity, you're now charged with raising a new warrior in the fight against evil and it is your job to lead by example as to how it should be done.
Circumstances exist so that we can be moulded to be the people that Christ purposed us to be serving his will! To highlight this, pay attention to the following parable I once read about; a father weary of his daughter's complaints about how tough life was put three (3) pots of water to boil and placed the following items in each pot, a carrot, an egg and some coffee beans. The daughter now curious questioned the purpose of the father's exercise but he told her to be patient, 20 minutes later, he turned off the fire for all 3 pots and asked the daughter to taste the carrot, she loved them, they were soft and tasty, next he asked her to crack the egg, this she also did and loved the newly hard boiled egg below the shell, lastly she tasted the coffee at her father's request, she fell in love with the aroma alone and readily drank a cup. Once more she questioned the purpose of the exercise to which the father responded, life is like a pot of boiling water which we all must be placed in to be prepared properly, some people are like carrots which start out hard and solid but after being boiled become tender and soft, wilting under the heat, some people are like eggs, initially seen as having a soft inside and overly fragile, they become hard and lacking substance, but some are like coffee beans who when boiled turn the water into something so tasty that the whole world loves them and enjoys the fruits of their labour.
The question is my dear, which one are you sugar?
Beware the Earthbound Immortal Timidus
In order to know that you're strong enough to make it begins with a little thing called faith. Faith is what allows the best of us to be who we are really, if you doubt me then let me take you on a journey through time to some of the greatest minds that ever graced the earth. King Solomon and his father the legendary King David, both men are beyond immortal in their accomplishments on this earth, these feats were only bested by their faith in god. From slaying giants to building impossible palaces and sharing widespread wisdom that is relevant even to this day, these men have done it all. The thing is that even they had their moments of doubt where they had to turn to their faith in god in order to accomplish all that they needed to do. So there's your first and foremost answer to life's questions, faith in god! Admittedly even I didn't understand what that fully meant until recently when I was reminded that to not have faith in god's ability to deliver is to question his very existence and you wouldn't want to do that now would you? Of course not, that's blaspheme so make sure you understand that faith in Jesus and all that his great power is capable of is mandatory to overcoming any situation. After that it's important to have a plan of action, feel free to pray about this as sometimes we must ask before we know where we have to go, no point in going on a road trip without a map! You are as blessed as anyone who has ever existed and carry the power of the almighty within you to control and manipulate all that is before you, so how come with all that power you're doubting that you can raise a child dear friend? Yes liz this is specifically for you as I honestly believe that for someone as powerful and blessed as yourself, you carry that pharisee spirit of doubt and despair! It's called a pharisee spirit because these were what the pharisees of old time used to turn support away from Jesus himself! Please understand that you've not only received a blessing dear, you've been given an opportunity, you're now charged with raising a new warrior in the fight against evil and it is your job to lead by example as to how it should be done.
Circumstances exist so that we can be moulded to be the people that Christ purposed us to be serving his will! To highlight this, pay attention to the following parable I once read about; a father weary of his daughter's complaints about how tough life was put three (3) pots of water to boil and placed the following items in each pot, a carrot, an egg and some coffee beans. The daughter now curious questioned the purpose of the father's exercise but he told her to be patient, 20 minutes later, he turned off the fire for all 3 pots and asked the daughter to taste the carrot, she loved them, they were soft and tasty, next he asked her to crack the egg, this she also did and loved the newly hard boiled egg below the shell, lastly she tasted the coffee at her father's request, she fell in love with the aroma alone and readily drank a cup. Once more she questioned the purpose of the exercise to which the father responded, life is like a pot of boiling water which we all must be placed in to be prepared properly, some people are like carrots which start out hard and solid but after being boiled become tender and soft, wilting under the heat, some people are like eggs, initially seen as having a soft inside and overly fragile, they become hard and lacking substance, but some are like coffee beans who when boiled turn the water into something so tasty that the whole world loves them and enjoys the fruits of their labour.
The question is my dear, which one are you sugar?
Beware the Earthbound Immortal Timidus
Monday, December 6, 2010
Fearing Success
We all face it at some point in time, on the verge of making a huge breakthrough in life and then we choke. After all the hard work we put into achieving our dreams, when the day comes to actually reach out and grab it, we hold back, fear grips us for some inexplicable reason, all of a sudden we have millions of excuses why we suddenly can't reach out and take what's ours. If you think that this will never in a million years be you, I'm sorry to say but you're in denial. Think I'm lying then here's the proof; how many situations have you been in where you had an ideal opportunity to acquire something valuable and didn't take it? It doesn't have to be anything major all the time, even something as simple as someone gave you a skip in line, offered to pay your taxi fare, even if a family member attempted to assist you and you had every excuse written and spoken as to why you "was good and go make?" Well that my friend is having a fear of success at the most basic levels of life.
The fear of success is quite simply the fear of attaining anything better for ourselves. No matter how many twists you put on it, withholding yourself from achieving the rewards of hard work, a good deed, or even a random legal opportunity to acquire something to your benefit are all signs of fearing success. Now don't lie to yourself here, be honest, you're guilty of it in more than one aspect of your life. If you still need convincing after all of that then let's get personal, so you're in a relationship with what you would term a "great" person, they've got all the signs of your version of a perfect relationship and you're ready to take things to the next level, with one exception, for some inexplicable reason, you can't convince yourself that it's the right thing to do. All of a sudden, you find faults with your "perfect" match, next thing you know you're suddenly unsure if you even want to commit, why you're with the person or where you want to go with the relationship. It becomes inconceivable that you are even considering settling with this person who was once so perfect and unmatchable. Think that can't be you? Well consider how many relationships have failed in your life because of some petty reason that even you can't explain. It could be something as simple as a disagreement with tastes in life, style of clothes, or even their status in life wasn't where you expect it to be at that point in time. Think about what was so bad about the person then that you just couldn't commit despite all that you thought was so glorious about them before, because chances are it was your own fear that made you run. That feeling in your stomach that you just can't go forward because things are too good to be true is also known as a fear of success. Another good example would be those of you who are absolutely fed up of your job and curse daily about how you would leave at the first opportunity you get, when that opportunity does come along now, you back track because the conditions and terms are not the same as your previous job! What about those of you who save money to move and own your own home, find the home of your dreams and just because you have to wake up an hour earlier to get to work you don't take the house and lose out? Yes you are also victims of this very unfortunate but prevalent disease, you're no better than those who quit school and never start again because they're afraid they'll quit again or those amongst us who never even try because we're convinced that if we do we'll fail.
This fear is self sabotaging and quite frankly destructive to wider society as people who suffer from this disease spread it to others as panic and despair. Such is the contagious nature of this disease that even a shred of it is enough to shake the foundation of the best of us. So now that we've established that you're a definite fellow sufferer, let's see what we can do to fix this mess. You've already gotten past step one which is acceptance that yes you really do have a problem, the next step is to address the source of the fear, i.e. what is it that you're afraid of and why it scares you. To find this answer you must be completely honest with yourself, so if the situation is one where you're about to embark on a career changing job and you're wondering why you're reluctant to move then the following reasons maybe holding you back, 1) a fear of job security, 2) meeting new people, 3) adjusting to a new lifestyle that you may be unfamiliar with or dislike, 4) adjusting to the job itself and 5) leaving your established routine. All these are genuine reasons for being afraid and it only becomes harmful when you do not acknowledge that you have a situation to address. It gets worse when you not only deny that you have a problem but you spend time actually trying to suppress the fear and replace your will to fight with excuses and stories about why you just can't make it, after that you self implode into a pile of unrecognizable rubble known as depression and doubt. Whether you're of christian faith or not given a spirit of fear but of courage and valour in god, but if you don't recognize that you're actually afraid then you won't know that you should fight now would you?
The worst part about fearing success has to be the implications on wider society, people fail to realize how powerful a contagious disease can be, it begins with one person and then as they come into contact with others, those who don't have the strength of faith and character to fight the fear find themselves agreeing with it and falling into the same circle. Just the other day I ran into a gentleman who has the world of financial worries, he has a house to fix, car to maintain, child to see about, a girlfriend to maintain and a job that doesn't even pay for gas, I offered this guy a similar job at a much higher rate paying more than double what he making and he didn't accept it because he was afraid that if he did basic exercise he would faint and never recover from the embarrassment! He managed to infect at least three (3) other people with that disease and demotivated an entire team of soldiers because of his actions. His situation is a blatant example of a fear of success untreated, he's spent years underachieving and never doing anything to better himself. He always had an excuse as to why he can't go further and when he is provided with a blatant way out he runs away because he never learned to have the courage to succeed. Think in your own life how many times this has happened to you and how you reacted and then ask yourself if you acted with courage
People we need to realize that there's no shame in being afraid, there's no harm in admitting that you need help to go forward. We build walls to keep others out and to hide ourselves from the pains that scare us, but think about it, what are we really hiding from? I once built a fortress around myself because I was afraid that everytime someone gets close I'll be hurt. Well I have news for you, no matter how you try you're always going to get hurt because even if you hide yourself behind a wall of titanium, the time will come when you'll be banging your own head against it to escape, makes you wonder who's really been hurting who all along doesn't it? Beware the Earthbound Immortal Timidus
The fear of success is quite simply the fear of attaining anything better for ourselves. No matter how many twists you put on it, withholding yourself from achieving the rewards of hard work, a good deed, or even a random legal opportunity to acquire something to your benefit are all signs of fearing success. Now don't lie to yourself here, be honest, you're guilty of it in more than one aspect of your life. If you still need convincing after all of that then let's get personal, so you're in a relationship with what you would term a "great" person, they've got all the signs of your version of a perfect relationship and you're ready to take things to the next level, with one exception, for some inexplicable reason, you can't convince yourself that it's the right thing to do. All of a sudden, you find faults with your "perfect" match, next thing you know you're suddenly unsure if you even want to commit, why you're with the person or where you want to go with the relationship. It becomes inconceivable that you are even considering settling with this person who was once so perfect and unmatchable. Think that can't be you? Well consider how many relationships have failed in your life because of some petty reason that even you can't explain. It could be something as simple as a disagreement with tastes in life, style of clothes, or even their status in life wasn't where you expect it to be at that point in time. Think about what was so bad about the person then that you just couldn't commit despite all that you thought was so glorious about them before, because chances are it was your own fear that made you run. That feeling in your stomach that you just can't go forward because things are too good to be true is also known as a fear of success. Another good example would be those of you who are absolutely fed up of your job and curse daily about how you would leave at the first opportunity you get, when that opportunity does come along now, you back track because the conditions and terms are not the same as your previous job! What about those of you who save money to move and own your own home, find the home of your dreams and just because you have to wake up an hour earlier to get to work you don't take the house and lose out? Yes you are also victims of this very unfortunate but prevalent disease, you're no better than those who quit school and never start again because they're afraid they'll quit again or those amongst us who never even try because we're convinced that if we do we'll fail.
This fear is self sabotaging and quite frankly destructive to wider society as people who suffer from this disease spread it to others as panic and despair. Such is the contagious nature of this disease that even a shred of it is enough to shake the foundation of the best of us. So now that we've established that you're a definite fellow sufferer, let's see what we can do to fix this mess. You've already gotten past step one which is acceptance that yes you really do have a problem, the next step is to address the source of the fear, i.e. what is it that you're afraid of and why it scares you. To find this answer you must be completely honest with yourself, so if the situation is one where you're about to embark on a career changing job and you're wondering why you're reluctant to move then the following reasons maybe holding you back, 1) a fear of job security, 2) meeting new people, 3) adjusting to a new lifestyle that you may be unfamiliar with or dislike, 4) adjusting to the job itself and 5) leaving your established routine. All these are genuine reasons for being afraid and it only becomes harmful when you do not acknowledge that you have a situation to address. It gets worse when you not only deny that you have a problem but you spend time actually trying to suppress the fear and replace your will to fight with excuses and stories about why you just can't make it, after that you self implode into a pile of unrecognizable rubble known as depression and doubt. Whether you're of christian faith or not given a spirit of fear but of courage and valour in god, but if you don't recognize that you're actually afraid then you won't know that you should fight now would you?
The worst part about fearing success has to be the implications on wider society, people fail to realize how powerful a contagious disease can be, it begins with one person and then as they come into contact with others, those who don't have the strength of faith and character to fight the fear find themselves agreeing with it and falling into the same circle. Just the other day I ran into a gentleman who has the world of financial worries, he has a house to fix, car to maintain, child to see about, a girlfriend to maintain and a job that doesn't even pay for gas, I offered this guy a similar job at a much higher rate paying more than double what he making and he didn't accept it because he was afraid that if he did basic exercise he would faint and never recover from the embarrassment! He managed to infect at least three (3) other people with that disease and demotivated an entire team of soldiers because of his actions. His situation is a blatant example of a fear of success untreated, he's spent years underachieving and never doing anything to better himself. He always had an excuse as to why he can't go further and when he is provided with a blatant way out he runs away because he never learned to have the courage to succeed. Think in your own life how many times this has happened to you and how you reacted and then ask yourself if you acted with courage
People we need to realize that there's no shame in being afraid, there's no harm in admitting that you need help to go forward. We build walls to keep others out and to hide ourselves from the pains that scare us, but think about it, what are we really hiding from? I once built a fortress around myself because I was afraid that everytime someone gets close I'll be hurt. Well I have news for you, no matter how you try you're always going to get hurt because even if you hide yourself behind a wall of titanium, the time will come when you'll be banging your own head against it to escape, makes you wonder who's really been hurting who all along doesn't it? Beware the Earthbound Immortal Timidus
Monday, November 29, 2010
Circumstances
This one is for those of us who are confused as to why relationships degenerate to embarrassing levels in public. Let's all be honest with ourselves, no one likes to be humiliated especially in the middle of "john" public for any reason, much less personal ones like relationship drama. Now a dear friend of mine unfortunately witnessed such an event and was understandably upset by the boy's behaviour. Personally I was always raised to NEVER insult, offend, disrespect, embarrass, frustrate or damage anyone in life, especially women, needless to say if I see any of my people performing such acts it's met with a very negative response from me. So now, here we have a situation where for some reason, this boy is insulting the people girl child in a very public place for some reason and the girl is just there taking all the humiliation.
I have a couple of issues with this situation as it brings back some old and some recent memories in such circumstances, firstly, as a member of the male species it is absolutely ignorant for him to insult and disrespect a woman in public for any reason. If you have soo much issues with the woman then you should either leave her and go your merry way or wait until you get home and sort out whatever drama is in the relationship. Secondly, that woman is some kind of a dummy to even consider sitting there and accepting such attitude, whether she's right wrong or indifferent, that is really a sad display of how low her self respect really is. Now onto the most puzzling and disturbing part of the whole situation, and that is the actual reason for his behaviour and her reaction, I have to admit that relationships are beyond complicated so any number of reasons could explain this matter. Recently I too was reminded as to how out of hand these things get, an after work lime went horribly wrong recently when the driver got a call to pick up a friend he knew in price plaza chaguanas before we made our way home. After we picked up the friend and began making our way back on course, we were signalled to pull over by a white wagon to which the driver obliged. My first thought was it may have been an unmarked police car until the driver stormed out and started cursing the driver, if that wasn't bad enough he pulled the young lady we picked up and started punching her all over! At this point I exited the vehicle and accosted the abusive boy armed with my trusty utility blade. He backed off and eventually left the area after I threatened to kill him. The story that followed was even more disturbing, it turns out that the driver of our vehicle knew the abusive man and only pulled over because he recognized the vehicle. He also knew that the man and the girl had an on and off relationship and that things weren't entirely over with them. The relationship was long ended but they were still sleeping together so the emotions are more than still running high. It was so bad that when we dropped the young lady at the police station, no one else but me was with her to make the report as they knew that she was still leading on the man despite her claims that she was not seeing him. She admitted to me that she was still sleeping with him but always told him that she was with someone else. Now people, this is what I am speaking about, HOW CAN YOU HAVE SEX OR ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH AN EX BOYFRIEND/ GIRLFRIEND AND NOT EXPECT FEELINGS TO BE INVOLVED? No matter who you are, if you were in a relationship where feelings were very strong and things were never really resolved, you're going to surprise yourself by your own reactions when this person returns to your life in such a personal style. The sad part is that these things occur on a regular basis and when the public sees the man's reaction then automatically the world of men need to learn respect! I'm being honest with you had I known that she was sleeping with the man from before I really wasn't getting out of that vehicle because that is a clear case of "put yuh hand in hot water, bound to bun!" There is no way you can put someone in such a situation and not expect these things to happen, men and women are emotional creatures and situations that play on our emotions usually end up in reactions like that whether we are christian or not!
This isn't the first time I've seen or heard of such situations and to be honest no matter who the victim is, my position on such actions remain the same. While it is true that respect is due to each other, it is also true that if you break such then you really shouldn't expect the other person to maintain their respect for you. I myself have been placed in situations where I've had to publicly embarrass a woman because she refused to tell the truth over something like why she's having an external relationship with another man while being with me! So people let's all be grown here, forgiveness is divine, forgetfullness a blessing, but stupidity is a sin, even the almighty father who we worship in spirit and truth has shown us that there is a limit to how far disrespect will be tolerated (see the story of noah and the book of revelation). Now having said such a thing, it would be really hypocritical of me to omit that god did say he was sorry for causing the flood and so to we must always ensure to make amends and peace for such actions, just as those who offend us are expected to make amends with us when we are offended.
Beware the Earthbound Immortal Furor
I have a couple of issues with this situation as it brings back some old and some recent memories in such circumstances, firstly, as a member of the male species it is absolutely ignorant for him to insult and disrespect a woman in public for any reason. If you have soo much issues with the woman then you should either leave her and go your merry way or wait until you get home and sort out whatever drama is in the relationship. Secondly, that woman is some kind of a dummy to even consider sitting there and accepting such attitude, whether she's right wrong or indifferent, that is really a sad display of how low her self respect really is. Now onto the most puzzling and disturbing part of the whole situation, and that is the actual reason for his behaviour and her reaction, I have to admit that relationships are beyond complicated so any number of reasons could explain this matter. Recently I too was reminded as to how out of hand these things get, an after work lime went horribly wrong recently when the driver got a call to pick up a friend he knew in price plaza chaguanas before we made our way home. After we picked up the friend and began making our way back on course, we were signalled to pull over by a white wagon to which the driver obliged. My first thought was it may have been an unmarked police car until the driver stormed out and started cursing the driver, if that wasn't bad enough he pulled the young lady we picked up and started punching her all over! At this point I exited the vehicle and accosted the abusive boy armed with my trusty utility blade. He backed off and eventually left the area after I threatened to kill him. The story that followed was even more disturbing, it turns out that the driver of our vehicle knew the abusive man and only pulled over because he recognized the vehicle. He also knew that the man and the girl had an on and off relationship and that things weren't entirely over with them. The relationship was long ended but they were still sleeping together so the emotions are more than still running high. It was so bad that when we dropped the young lady at the police station, no one else but me was with her to make the report as they knew that she was still leading on the man despite her claims that she was not seeing him. She admitted to me that she was still sleeping with him but always told him that she was with someone else. Now people, this is what I am speaking about, HOW CAN YOU HAVE SEX OR ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH AN EX BOYFRIEND/ GIRLFRIEND AND NOT EXPECT FEELINGS TO BE INVOLVED? No matter who you are, if you were in a relationship where feelings were very strong and things were never really resolved, you're going to surprise yourself by your own reactions when this person returns to your life in such a personal style. The sad part is that these things occur on a regular basis and when the public sees the man's reaction then automatically the world of men need to learn respect! I'm being honest with you had I known that she was sleeping with the man from before I really wasn't getting out of that vehicle because that is a clear case of "put yuh hand in hot water, bound to bun!" There is no way you can put someone in such a situation and not expect these things to happen, men and women are emotional creatures and situations that play on our emotions usually end up in reactions like that whether we are christian or not!
This isn't the first time I've seen or heard of such situations and to be honest no matter who the victim is, my position on such actions remain the same. While it is true that respect is due to each other, it is also true that if you break such then you really shouldn't expect the other person to maintain their respect for you. I myself have been placed in situations where I've had to publicly embarrass a woman because she refused to tell the truth over something like why she's having an external relationship with another man while being with me! So people let's all be grown here, forgiveness is divine, forgetfullness a blessing, but stupidity is a sin, even the almighty father who we worship in spirit and truth has shown us that there is a limit to how far disrespect will be tolerated (see the story of noah and the book of revelation). Now having said such a thing, it would be really hypocritical of me to omit that god did say he was sorry for causing the flood and so to we must always ensure to make amends and peace for such actions, just as those who offend us are expected to make amends with us when we are offended.
Beware the Earthbound Immortal Furor
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Friends and Benefits
So you're wondering what to do with that friend who's been flirting with you for the past how long, they seem nicer than anyone you've ever met, they know almost every detail about you until they become practically prophetic. Well I have to admit I'm currently in the same predicament because such people are seemingly rare in these turbulent times. This situation has happened to millions of people around the world and admittedly, my own research has revealed that the majority of "friendships" that follow this path result in not only divorce but bitter fights and heightened emotions because of the perceived understanding that existed.
The truth of the matter is that understanding friends and comprehending lovers are two parallel topics with very little in common. Friends who seemingly maintain a level of understanding that go beyond the normal level of social interaction are just that, there's no intimacy that qualifies them to be anything else but two or more people who share common interests and an understanding of each other that involves no intimacy whatsoever. People who share this understanding have either been in the same social environment for an extended period of time or have discovered that they share similar thought patterns and experiences in life. The real difference has to be in the level of relations between the individuals as this is where the line is often confused. Truth be told, friends can relate to each other much easier than couples as the expectation of compromise is less as well as the consequences of the relations. A good example of this would be the types of conversations that occur between friends and couples, it is far easier to tell a friend than your significant other about your past relationships and escapades as the expectation is that the friend can only make a light comment or even laugh depending on the nature of the event, but there will be NO judgmental stares or feelings being offended because missing from that correspondence will be the INTIMATE feelings that will exist in a relationship between couples. If a couple had such a conversation there would be long lasting repercussions emotionally and to a lesser extent psychologically depending on the nature of the situation being discussed. In the case of the conversation relating to past relationships, one partner talking about how great their past relationships were will result in the other feeling completely outclassed and outgunned as compared to having the same conversation with a friend who may not have been there to witness such escapades. The reality of the situation is that couples have greater feelings on the line and greater care is required in order to maintain their balance.
Seems simple but the real complication now enters where there are friendships where such care is required. These friendships are much more complicated and while they may not necessarily involve the intimacy level of a couple, some does exist and that's a fact. It becomes worst when the individuals are from either gender as this mix of contact and understanding becomes confusing for either party. The reason for this confusion is that the relations resemble the courting process between a potential couple to a great extent. If your having trouble believing me then allow me to clarify with the following example; a boy likes a girl and begins the courting process, the two have met via a mutual friend and begin conversing to discover details about the other, meanwhile a girl has just met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday party and during the introductions discover that he not only favours the same types of food as she does but also the same taste in music so they begin to converse to see what else they have in common. So far we have two similar meetings under two different circumstances, BUT the outcome is the SAME where the two end up furthering their discussions for the same purposes. So now fast forward to some moons later where we check up on our four individuals to see how they're doing, turns out that the couple to be end up together after the courting period, we all know how that goes, lots of quality time together, dinner, movie, maybe go a couple social event together, but the whole world can see that something is up with them until the revelation. The friends who have similar tastes however find themselves in the same situation, in an attempt to build their friendship, they go out to social events together, call each other constantly conversing at random hours about various topics, even do dinner together or with mutual friends. Soon the world notices that these so called friends seem to have a deeper connection than a simple friendship, the level of intimacy outside of the social circle is clear for all to see for it permeates into the general public as the friendship grows. If any of this sounds familiar, then you're in more than a friendship my friend, you're in what is known as a platonic relationship where friends flirt and relate to each other to the level of a couple. The thing is with these types of relationships are the levels of complications that come with them, there's no telling who's who and where the each stands with the other because after a while you become exclusive to your "friend." In case your not following still, the truth of the matter is that when friendships evolve to this level, you're not even allowed to have other friends and a full blown relationship is imminent.
Now before you go running off and telling your "friend" that there are more than friendship feelings involved, you'll need to be sure that the timing is correct. It's a well known fact that some people take longer than others to confess their true feelings because they themselves are unable to assess what's going on. The truth must be seen that just as you are confused as to the extent of feelings involved, the friend is just as confused. It's much wiser to test for particular signs that more than a friendship is at work. The signs are simple yet complicated, for example, if you notice that she's a bit more touchy than you're accustomed to then that's a sign that things are stepping up. Even if the conversations between you two or more become more intense in terms of how you feel about each other then chances are you're facing more than a friendship. Think about it you might either be heading for bliss or destruction...............................................................................................................................
The truth of the matter is that understanding friends and comprehending lovers are two parallel topics with very little in common. Friends who seemingly maintain a level of understanding that go beyond the normal level of social interaction are just that, there's no intimacy that qualifies them to be anything else but two or more people who share common interests and an understanding of each other that involves no intimacy whatsoever. People who share this understanding have either been in the same social environment for an extended period of time or have discovered that they share similar thought patterns and experiences in life. The real difference has to be in the level of relations between the individuals as this is where the line is often confused. Truth be told, friends can relate to each other much easier than couples as the expectation of compromise is less as well as the consequences of the relations. A good example of this would be the types of conversations that occur between friends and couples, it is far easier to tell a friend than your significant other about your past relationships and escapades as the expectation is that the friend can only make a light comment or even laugh depending on the nature of the event, but there will be NO judgmental stares or feelings being offended because missing from that correspondence will be the INTIMATE feelings that will exist in a relationship between couples. If a couple had such a conversation there would be long lasting repercussions emotionally and to a lesser extent psychologically depending on the nature of the situation being discussed. In the case of the conversation relating to past relationships, one partner talking about how great their past relationships were will result in the other feeling completely outclassed and outgunned as compared to having the same conversation with a friend who may not have been there to witness such escapades. The reality of the situation is that couples have greater feelings on the line and greater care is required in order to maintain their balance.
Seems simple but the real complication now enters where there are friendships where such care is required. These friendships are much more complicated and while they may not necessarily involve the intimacy level of a couple, some does exist and that's a fact. It becomes worst when the individuals are from either gender as this mix of contact and understanding becomes confusing for either party. The reason for this confusion is that the relations resemble the courting process between a potential couple to a great extent. If your having trouble believing me then allow me to clarify with the following example; a boy likes a girl and begins the courting process, the two have met via a mutual friend and begin conversing to discover details about the other, meanwhile a girl has just met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday party and during the introductions discover that he not only favours the same types of food as she does but also the same taste in music so they begin to converse to see what else they have in common. So far we have two similar meetings under two different circumstances, BUT the outcome is the SAME where the two end up furthering their discussions for the same purposes. So now fast forward to some moons later where we check up on our four individuals to see how they're doing, turns out that the couple to be end up together after the courting period, we all know how that goes, lots of quality time together, dinner, movie, maybe go a couple social event together, but the whole world can see that something is up with them until the revelation. The friends who have similar tastes however find themselves in the same situation, in an attempt to build their friendship, they go out to social events together, call each other constantly conversing at random hours about various topics, even do dinner together or with mutual friends. Soon the world notices that these so called friends seem to have a deeper connection than a simple friendship, the level of intimacy outside of the social circle is clear for all to see for it permeates into the general public as the friendship grows. If any of this sounds familiar, then you're in more than a friendship my friend, you're in what is known as a platonic relationship where friends flirt and relate to each other to the level of a couple. The thing is with these types of relationships are the levels of complications that come with them, there's no telling who's who and where the each stands with the other because after a while you become exclusive to your "friend." In case your not following still, the truth of the matter is that when friendships evolve to this level, you're not even allowed to have other friends and a full blown relationship is imminent.
Now before you go running off and telling your "friend" that there are more than friendship feelings involved, you'll need to be sure that the timing is correct. It's a well known fact that some people take longer than others to confess their true feelings because they themselves are unable to assess what's going on. The truth must be seen that just as you are confused as to the extent of feelings involved, the friend is just as confused. It's much wiser to test for particular signs that more than a friendship is at work. The signs are simple yet complicated, for example, if you notice that she's a bit more touchy than you're accustomed to then that's a sign that things are stepping up. Even if the conversations between you two or more become more intense in terms of how you feel about each other then chances are you're facing more than a friendship. Think about it you might either be heading for bliss or destruction...............................................................................................................................
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Unfortunate
It's a word used to describe a situation that is so sad and unnecessary that it's a complete waste of time to even describe why such a situation or event could take place. This word also applies to people as well, and lately it applies to a lot of people walking this planet. For several moons I have written about the Earthbound Immortals that plague mankind and how they can turn us from people to demons with minimal effort. My very own eyes and experiences have been witness to what can only be described as the unfortunate behaviour of human beings created to serve god and love one another turn on each other like animals in the wild. To fully highlight just how bad the situation has become, imagine a scene from National Geographic where hyenas feed on each other for survival and you'll begin to get an idea as to how horrible human beings actually behave in today's world. For many years we've all seen someone who's behaviour can only be described as inhumane perpetrate acts so horrendous that the imagination is left in shambles that such ideas can even be conceived. The sad part is though that these monsters aren't limited to the Idi Amins and Adolf Hitlers who destroyed the lives of many with their versions of Armageddon, it's those who are far worse, like the modern day tribes who claim equality but persecute the less fortunate for their own gains and gratification, the neatly dressed warlords who destroy the lives of billions with the click of a button, the devil's dressed in white with plastic halos who claim to save but rape and molest the innocence of the young without conscience. Those are the people who really make the world as dangerous as it is today, they wear masks of righteousness but demolish more than every single world war put together, they are the ones who have teeth sharper than dragons but speak with the voice of a child and they walk among us daily!
For the really unprepared, this may seem exaggerated so let me paint a simpler picture for you, imagine you just started a new job and during your probation, you find yourself the victim of a supervisor who for no explicable reason insists that your a problem to them and set out to have you fired. If you think such situations don't exist you're either part of the problem or are too young to see the worst in humans. Sadly though such people do exist, they're the ones who are enveloped by envy and jealousy, greed and self glorification, they don't care who you are but as long as you appear to be a threat to their very ideals you're the enemy and they're out to destroy you. These people make up nearly half of the planet and come in all forms and shapes, another good example of their behaviour are the people who we daily here about sending emails and messages of all sorts for worthy donations in the name of humanity but only keep your generosity for their own leisure and deny those who really need the support that they need to even survive. If you're the kind of person who thinks that this is the only way to live then unfortunately you are one of the evil ones and your day of reckoning is on the way.
The worst part about these unfortunate individuals is that they are CONVINCED that how they live is not only correct but that others should live like them so long as it doesn't affect their own miserable and unfulfilled lifestyles. It's even sadder that these people hope to understand why they can only go so far in life and no further! What really boggles my brain though is that they ACTUALLY try to convince others that living a self less lifestyle is considered weak and improper!! What kind of demons would even think of something like that? It's one thing to develop yourself and grow in your life, but to prosper at the expense of others is unethical, unholy, ill mannered, distasteful, inconceivable, etc. I know of no religion or faith that promotes, supports, suggests, implies in any form, fashion or manner that this kind of progress is even tolerable much less condoned.
This is to all the people who choose to live right via kindness and goodwill and above all love toward their fellow man, keep up the good work for this was the way our lord intended for us to live!! As for the rest of you unscrupulous, unholy, inconceivably diabolical, unintelligent lifeforms from another universe of scrap, get a life and get far behind me minions of satan!! I refuse to bow to the so called power of the earthbound immortal Malum
For the really unprepared, this may seem exaggerated so let me paint a simpler picture for you, imagine you just started a new job and during your probation, you find yourself the victim of a supervisor who for no explicable reason insists that your a problem to them and set out to have you fired. If you think such situations don't exist you're either part of the problem or are too young to see the worst in humans. Sadly though such people do exist, they're the ones who are enveloped by envy and jealousy, greed and self glorification, they don't care who you are but as long as you appear to be a threat to their very ideals you're the enemy and they're out to destroy you. These people make up nearly half of the planet and come in all forms and shapes, another good example of their behaviour are the people who we daily here about sending emails and messages of all sorts for worthy donations in the name of humanity but only keep your generosity for their own leisure and deny those who really need the support that they need to even survive. If you're the kind of person who thinks that this is the only way to live then unfortunately you are one of the evil ones and your day of reckoning is on the way.
The worst part about these unfortunate individuals is that they are CONVINCED that how they live is not only correct but that others should live like them so long as it doesn't affect their own miserable and unfulfilled lifestyles. It's even sadder that these people hope to understand why they can only go so far in life and no further! What really boggles my brain though is that they ACTUALLY try to convince others that living a self less lifestyle is considered weak and improper!! What kind of demons would even think of something like that? It's one thing to develop yourself and grow in your life, but to prosper at the expense of others is unethical, unholy, ill mannered, distasteful, inconceivable, etc. I know of no religion or faith that promotes, supports, suggests, implies in any form, fashion or manner that this kind of progress is even tolerable much less condoned.
This is to all the people who choose to live right via kindness and goodwill and above all love toward their fellow man, keep up the good work for this was the way our lord intended for us to live!! As for the rest of you unscrupulous, unholy, inconceivably diabolical, unintelligent lifeforms from another universe of scrap, get a life and get far behind me minions of satan!! I refuse to bow to the so called power of the earthbound immortal Malum
Goals and Achievements
"I know my limitations and if i aim too high i will lose sight of only pleasing myself," this was a line a friend of mine hit me with when I asked about her ambitions. I found it very curious as she's not only intelligent but also very ingenious, needless to say I had to have her explain her statement. Now to be fair, I did ask her about attaining a Nobel Peace Prize one day for a discovery or re-discovery of epic proportions. Still though I questioned the meaning of the statement on a deeper level (as I'm prone to doing) and my mind is racing as I write this minute.
My first thought was "if I aim too high" I have to admit I will forever have problems grasping this concept as I do not believe in aiming too high on any level, so needless to say, I'm baffled. A further look however tells a different story, the last part is where the real story lies as she clearly states that she doesn't want to lose sight of her main goal which is to please herself. This was the clincher for me really and the part that really illuminated the meaning that I grasped from her statement. Long ago I learned that for some people, it is easier to see what they will become rather than how they can adjust themselves to be a particular situation, simply put for some individuals, the outcome is easier to accept than than the means to adjust who they can be. For some, following a particular path will surely lead to an ending that has consequences so dreaded for that individual that they would prefer not to move at all, while for others, the path is but a means to the end and the consequences of such a path is but a small price to pay in the quest for fulfillment. So you're still not sure as to what I speak of? Well let me give you an example: A nineteen (19) year old is considering taking up studies abroad in Mass Communications, while he's amazing socially and has a tenacity that most professionals within the industry would class as intimidating, he himself sees his potential as a tool that may be unfortunately exploited and abused to destroy the reputations of targeted individuals by whosoever his employers maybe. This may seem far fetched for some, but thinking long term is crucial to understanding what you really want out of life. His experiences and his eyes reveal to him what the practices and norms are in the present day, a simple glance into the future based on such standards reveals a grim outlook with an even bleaker prospect of things changing. So he decides to not pursue his ambition to the level that he will suffer such exploitation and limit his career to a level where he can perform but not within the confines of the foreseen destruction. It goes right back to my very said same friend who said that "if I aim too high I will lose sight of pleasing myself."
How will you define the limits of your goals and aspirations? It's simple really, all you have to do is be honest with yourself. Do you really think that what's important to you now will matter even three years into the future? Is it possible that your current lifestyle will allow you to maintain your future ambitions? How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your ultimate dream? Most importantly is that dream in correspondence to the will of god? These simple questions are extremely difficult to answer if we're not completely honest with ourselves and lack the maturity to accept true self criticism. Blaming the structure of a system for one's inability to succeed is ridiculous and immature, for as oppressive as a system maybe, true character and strength of faith and spirit allows one to be innovative enough to overcome such obstacles. There is absolutely no excuse for failure other than self destruction, if you convince yourself that you can't make it then I'm sorry but you won't. Let's be honest with ourselves, even if an opportunity did fall into your lap for you to rise to the occasion, you wouldn't have the strength of mind to even make the few sacrifices involved to get to the next level, and it's all because you set yourself up for failure long before you even got started.
There's no right or wrong way to get what you need, even if you steal, it's considered humanitarian to steal in the name of doing good and surviving for a living according to our failed legal system that allows criminals to walk free as a gesture of understanding how hard some of us live. Given that we have this much liberty to operate somebody explain to me how can you not know your limitations and work towards them?
My first thought was "if I aim too high" I have to admit I will forever have problems grasping this concept as I do not believe in aiming too high on any level, so needless to say, I'm baffled. A further look however tells a different story, the last part is where the real story lies as she clearly states that she doesn't want to lose sight of her main goal which is to please herself. This was the clincher for me really and the part that really illuminated the meaning that I grasped from her statement. Long ago I learned that for some people, it is easier to see what they will become rather than how they can adjust themselves to be a particular situation, simply put for some individuals, the outcome is easier to accept than than the means to adjust who they can be. For some, following a particular path will surely lead to an ending that has consequences so dreaded for that individual that they would prefer not to move at all, while for others, the path is but a means to the end and the consequences of such a path is but a small price to pay in the quest for fulfillment. So you're still not sure as to what I speak of? Well let me give you an example: A nineteen (19) year old is considering taking up studies abroad in Mass Communications, while he's amazing socially and has a tenacity that most professionals within the industry would class as intimidating, he himself sees his potential as a tool that may be unfortunately exploited and abused to destroy the reputations of targeted individuals by whosoever his employers maybe. This may seem far fetched for some, but thinking long term is crucial to understanding what you really want out of life. His experiences and his eyes reveal to him what the practices and norms are in the present day, a simple glance into the future based on such standards reveals a grim outlook with an even bleaker prospect of things changing. So he decides to not pursue his ambition to the level that he will suffer such exploitation and limit his career to a level where he can perform but not within the confines of the foreseen destruction. It goes right back to my very said same friend who said that "if I aim too high I will lose sight of pleasing myself."
How will you define the limits of your goals and aspirations? It's simple really, all you have to do is be honest with yourself. Do you really think that what's important to you now will matter even three years into the future? Is it possible that your current lifestyle will allow you to maintain your future ambitions? How much are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your ultimate dream? Most importantly is that dream in correspondence to the will of god? These simple questions are extremely difficult to answer if we're not completely honest with ourselves and lack the maturity to accept true self criticism. Blaming the structure of a system for one's inability to succeed is ridiculous and immature, for as oppressive as a system maybe, true character and strength of faith and spirit allows one to be innovative enough to overcome such obstacles. There is absolutely no excuse for failure other than self destruction, if you convince yourself that you can't make it then I'm sorry but you won't. Let's be honest with ourselves, even if an opportunity did fall into your lap for you to rise to the occasion, you wouldn't have the strength of mind to even make the few sacrifices involved to get to the next level, and it's all because you set yourself up for failure long before you even got started.
There's no right or wrong way to get what you need, even if you steal, it's considered humanitarian to steal in the name of doing good and surviving for a living according to our failed legal system that allows criminals to walk free as a gesture of understanding how hard some of us live. Given that we have this much liberty to operate somebody explain to me how can you not know your limitations and work towards them?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Deja vu
It's funny how life throws you in a circle to teach lessons, things that constantly happen because you never learned how to deal with it in the first place. The thing is though, learning to learn lessons is the first step, so until you learn how to learn a lesson and to be able to see the lesson that you're supposed to learn, you can't go anywhere. How sad it is that in order for us to progress truly in life we must learn how to learn.
Deja vu is considered by many to be an experience that took place before it actually happened. While that definition puts it in the bracket of a premonition, it's quite different. It's where a situation so closely resembles another, it feels like you're walking through the exact same path as in a previous experience. This situation only develops when you haven't learned your lessons. Currently I'm in such a situation, where I find myself repeating an exact course I took several moons ago. I find myself making the exact same decisions for the same reasons, with the same risks and the same consequences. If I ever wondered what deja vu really felt like, I'm living it. The question is though, what am I really supposed to learn from all of this? I realize that the way things are right now is not working in my best interest and is actually setting me on a very similar path to destruction in life. Seeing something like that is not an easy thing to face, to be honest it's down right scary and haunts me nearly every night like a recurring nightmare. Try as I might to deny that the drama is real, I know that one day I'll have to face it head on, but for now I'm not sure how to or what i'm even facing! Let me come right out and be honest, I'm thinking of what to do with my current relationship. As always things started off all happy and merry with dreams of a two storey house with a white picket fence and two dogs, but as I've learnt in life, dreams only come true with prayer and diligence, commitment and evolution and most of all compromise. Honestly speaking, most of these factors are missing from this relationship as it stands and I'm deciding if to continue to fight and try to save it just like last time or if to cut my losses short and keep moving. Past experience has taught me that when faced with these situations, it's best to keep moving and not worry about any other factors.
Looking back is always risky as it sometimes blinds you from the blessings to come, but then again, not looking back is also detrimental as it prevents you from seeing the lessons to be learned. It takes you back to past pains and unwanted experiences that may discourage you from taking a new path due to past consequences. The core question then becomes, what is the lesson that you're supposed to learn? In my case that learning point is that in order to help myself and achieve my goals, sacrifices of tremendous proportions are required. I wanted to be a global traveller, an international soldier, but that requires that I have somebody who supports that dream. For years I've been forced to give up my own ambitions to settle for those of another, but I've never had my own dreams supported. I've often wondered how is it that people can say I'm there for you but only on my terms, and then try to convince you that they really are being there for me. It's completely frustrating to think that after all this struggle to get this far in life, I'd have to give it all up just to please some other individual who does not share my ideals. I often like to think that some where out there someone exists who understands my calling in life. My dreams and ambitions seem to be far above everyone I encounter and it's absolutely frustrating, after all these years I'm still encountering people who are limited in their thinking.
The hardest part to swallow is that I'm left confused and wondering if I made the right decision to follow my own path. History has shown that everytime I walk the path of another, the consequences are dire on my end, I'm left with nothing and the rebuilding process is excruciating by any stretch of the imagination. Admittedly it's a process that I've had to repeat for some years now and I'm feeling that it's part of the reason my life feels unfulfilled. The lifestyle that I'm capable of living and competent to achieve is hampered by my own unwillingness to follow through on my dreams and plans all for the sake of being with someone supposedly special. I've spent my lifetime thus far working to ensure that I do not repeat the mistakes of my parents and here it is I'm running into women who are asking me to do just that. How can you ask for a family life and have no foundation to support such? How can you meet me wanting to live above the average family but then ask me to remove that thinking and settle for less? I fully understand that some people aspire to an average lifestyle as it's comfortable for them, not too many responsibilities, a relatively secure income with an average paying job, but that's not me! It's unacceptable for me to refuse responsibility that comes with a big pay day. I've lived my life towards the big picture and I'm having great difficulty coping with excessive mediocrity and the people who try to make me be a part of it!!
As tough as it seems I must be able to move forward with or without you, if you really cared for me you would support my dreams as I've supported yours, i.e. without compromise and in your best interests. It's very unfair for anything less to be allowed and it's a shame that you of all people would even tolerate such slackness much less encourage me to be in it! It's so rotten to lie to people about most things in life, but when it comes to really important matters like life choices I have long ago drawn a big fat line there! Once I allowed a woman to get between me and my dreams and I'm still paying a heavy price for that, how can u now come and ask me to make the same decision that nearly ruined my life?? Have you so little consideration for my life that you would prefer to see me fall than see me soar? Is it so much what you want that it would kill you to support my own ambitions even for a second? Are you so consumed with what you know and you want that I'm only relevant when I have a different opinion? How dare you take it upon yourself to dictate where and how I should live because you think that my dreams are too lofty to achieve! If you want to be average then I strongly suggest you NOT include me in your plans because average was never me and it NEVER will be!!
I've really tried for you to understand what I'm about and unfortunately you tried to make me into who you wanted me to be, this isn't love of any kind but slavery to it's truest meaning. It's my own fault though because I really believed you loved me for me and led myself down this very said road I've been avoiding for so long. The old saying that others know your weaknesses better than you do is true, for you knew mine and you gave me deja vu.
As tough as it seems I must be able to move forward with or without you, if you really cared for me you would support my dreams as I've supported yours, i.e. without compromise and in your best interests. It's very unfair for anything less to be allowed and it's a shame that you of all people would even tolerate such slackness much less encourage me to be in it! It's so rotten to lie to people about most things in life, but when it comes to really important matters like life choices I have long ago drawn a big fat line there! Once I allowed a woman to get between me and my dreams and I'm still paying a heavy price for that, how can u now come and ask me to make the same decision that nearly ruined my life?? Have you so little consideration for my life that you would prefer to see me fall than see me soar? Is it so much what you want that it would kill you to support my own ambitions even for a second? Are you so consumed with what you know and you want that I'm only relevant when I have a different opinion? How dare you take it upon yourself to dictate where and how I should live because you think that my dreams are too lofty to achieve! If you want to be average then I strongly suggest you NOT include me in your plans because average was never me and it NEVER will be!!
I've really tried for you to understand what I'm about and unfortunately you tried to make me into who you wanted me to be, this isn't love of any kind but slavery to it's truest meaning. It's my own fault though because I really believed you loved me for me and led myself down this very said road I've been avoiding for so long. The old saying that others know your weaknesses better than you do is true, for you knew mine and you gave me deja vu.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Trials and Tribulations
For many years I have struggled with being different, I've been ridiculed and abused for my difference in opinions and mentality. I've been called many names but normal was never one of them, for comfort I drifted into my own world of thought where I understood me and my way of thinking, a world where people believed in principle and advanced thought. It's taken me quite sometime to get accustomed to being thought of as weird and looney, because i couldn't for the life of me understand why people didn't see my ideas for what they were, creative and full of hope. I admit that there are many times I'm not realistic and many of my ideas have not been well thought out because I get too excited with the ends and disregard the details of the means, but that's just me!! I think big because I have the ability to see connections that don't exist, I can create paths that were previously untrodden and few dare to even go. I understand that I'm a different kind of individual and the things that excite and motivate me are sometimes extremely different from society's norms.
I'll be the first to confess that there are things about me that if most people knew they would faint so i keep them to myself. It's also true that i've been forced to withdraw into a shell for many years for fear of being chastised for who I really am, but who can blame me? I've been told that so many people think I'm gay because of the way that I talk and my modus operandi. As disturbing as that was for me, it was even more hurtful that these people had these thoughts without even attempting to understand why I operate the way that I do. I'm a firm believer in second opinions as first impressions have proven to be tremendously flawed. My own life is a living example of this flaw as most people don't even know what to think of me on first impression and decide to make a randomly unsound profile of myself. This profile in their mind would consist of what they think of me based on frivolous things such as my near perfect english, my constant and seemingly fixed smile as well as my dress code! Now what kind of lunatic makes an assessment of people based on those things? How can you possibly determine a person's personality based on dress code, is society serious? If I'm insane for not following that trend then you may as well lock me away in an asylum and throw away the key! For as long as I can remember I've always suffered with an identity complex as to who I really am, attempts to fit in the popular crowd by conforming to their whims and fancies was hard enough, but that need was battling an equally powerful urge to denounce many practices of the crowd. In addition to that was the immense pressures of being a prodigy child, my brain although untrained was remarkably astute and detailed. The many elders who made up my early company had their own opinions as to how I should live my life, a complex mix of religion, experience and individual personality meant that each elder had a varied perspective on life and how I should live it in the days to come. These multiple pressures resulted in many sleepless nights and an inability to control my already rampaging temper as it was and to a certain extent still is my only source of venting and release from my stress. It also didn't help that I grew up poor, my family started with next to nothing and fought tooth and nail to get where we are today. Back then I had very little understanding of why we had to suffer so much, so many things that could have been are now not because of the limitations of our lifestyle, but we made do. The unfortunate part is that this lack of opportunity was also a source of ridicule as I was seen as a lesser being to those around me who apparently had families with unlimited resources so they were able to purchase whatever they needed.
In the years to come after my schooling, I would truly understand the limitations of my background, everything from job opportunities to social circles was affected. It made very little difference what I was able to do, only where I came from and who i was associated with to an extent. It amazed me to see people with half my ability and even less talent soar to elevated heights because they had a connect with some big shot family. That realisation shot my confidence even lower, as i struggled to comprehend how someone with so much potential like myself could struggle so hard and for so long. I had such big dreams for myself based on what i saw in me and what I hoped were ideas that i could realise in a relatively short space of time with some sacrifice and hard work!! The worst part was that in my moment to shine i felt like I really let myself down where I really had the opportunity to shine!!
The worst part of it all was realizing that the biggest obstacle to my progress looks me in the mirror every morning that i wake. After all the suffering and heartbreak for failures I never imagined, it's been tough to swallow that I've been my biggest mountain!! My own unwillingness to admit that I do have weaknesses and they needed to be addressed as the very reason that i didn't do as well as I'd hoped. How much I rue the day my own wisdom failed to warn me that I was capable of imploding, daily i question where was all my understanding when i really needed it to kick in and save me from myself?? For all my vision I wasn't able to see me drive myself off course!! It took more than four long years of suffering for me to realise that the biggest test I would have to face in life was me and all that came with me, the good, the bad and especially the ugly!! I have to admit coming down from my high horse was a heavy fall, the dismount alone was murder!!! It got worse from there as with rapid succession everything that I built on my old thoughts crumbled to pieces!! There was no stopping the speed as my entire world and all that I held dear would fade away like the blue sky in hurricane season. The fall didn't stop there though as ultimately I would learn that no matter how great I thought I was, god is so much greater and mightier than I could have ever imagined. He took apart everything that I built, destroyed my walls, my confidence, my pride, my will to fight, even my stubborn mind, and he did it in less than 6 months!!
Even after all this time I still feel the stings of that painful flood known as a reminder. The people around me who more than suffer daily, the lifestyle that I once lived that broke me into pieces, and especially the aloof behaviour that I now despise, it's tough to imagine that I once practiced that!! Human beings have been their own undoing since the first dummies disobeyed the father and caused the rest of us to suffer for generations!!
Let this be a guide to those who don't know, if you find yourself constantly stressed because life just doesn't seem what its supposed to be, then your being tested for a life that's even better in Christ!!
I'll be the first to confess that there are things about me that if most people knew they would faint so i keep them to myself. It's also true that i've been forced to withdraw into a shell for many years for fear of being chastised for who I really am, but who can blame me? I've been told that so many people think I'm gay because of the way that I talk and my modus operandi. As disturbing as that was for me, it was even more hurtful that these people had these thoughts without even attempting to understand why I operate the way that I do. I'm a firm believer in second opinions as first impressions have proven to be tremendously flawed. My own life is a living example of this flaw as most people don't even know what to think of me on first impression and decide to make a randomly unsound profile of myself. This profile in their mind would consist of what they think of me based on frivolous things such as my near perfect english, my constant and seemingly fixed smile as well as my dress code! Now what kind of lunatic makes an assessment of people based on those things? How can you possibly determine a person's personality based on dress code, is society serious? If I'm insane for not following that trend then you may as well lock me away in an asylum and throw away the key! For as long as I can remember I've always suffered with an identity complex as to who I really am, attempts to fit in the popular crowd by conforming to their whims and fancies was hard enough, but that need was battling an equally powerful urge to denounce many practices of the crowd. In addition to that was the immense pressures of being a prodigy child, my brain although untrained was remarkably astute and detailed. The many elders who made up my early company had their own opinions as to how I should live my life, a complex mix of religion, experience and individual personality meant that each elder had a varied perspective on life and how I should live it in the days to come. These multiple pressures resulted in many sleepless nights and an inability to control my already rampaging temper as it was and to a certain extent still is my only source of venting and release from my stress. It also didn't help that I grew up poor, my family started with next to nothing and fought tooth and nail to get where we are today. Back then I had very little understanding of why we had to suffer so much, so many things that could have been are now not because of the limitations of our lifestyle, but we made do. The unfortunate part is that this lack of opportunity was also a source of ridicule as I was seen as a lesser being to those around me who apparently had families with unlimited resources so they were able to purchase whatever they needed.
In the years to come after my schooling, I would truly understand the limitations of my background, everything from job opportunities to social circles was affected. It made very little difference what I was able to do, only where I came from and who i was associated with to an extent. It amazed me to see people with half my ability and even less talent soar to elevated heights because they had a connect with some big shot family. That realisation shot my confidence even lower, as i struggled to comprehend how someone with so much potential like myself could struggle so hard and for so long. I had such big dreams for myself based on what i saw in me and what I hoped were ideas that i could realise in a relatively short space of time with some sacrifice and hard work!! The worst part was that in my moment to shine i felt like I really let myself down where I really had the opportunity to shine!!
The worst part of it all was realizing that the biggest obstacle to my progress looks me in the mirror every morning that i wake. After all the suffering and heartbreak for failures I never imagined, it's been tough to swallow that I've been my biggest mountain!! My own unwillingness to admit that I do have weaknesses and they needed to be addressed as the very reason that i didn't do as well as I'd hoped. How much I rue the day my own wisdom failed to warn me that I was capable of imploding, daily i question where was all my understanding when i really needed it to kick in and save me from myself?? For all my vision I wasn't able to see me drive myself off course!! It took more than four long years of suffering for me to realise that the biggest test I would have to face in life was me and all that came with me, the good, the bad and especially the ugly!! I have to admit coming down from my high horse was a heavy fall, the dismount alone was murder!!! It got worse from there as with rapid succession everything that I built on my old thoughts crumbled to pieces!! There was no stopping the speed as my entire world and all that I held dear would fade away like the blue sky in hurricane season. The fall didn't stop there though as ultimately I would learn that no matter how great I thought I was, god is so much greater and mightier than I could have ever imagined. He took apart everything that I built, destroyed my walls, my confidence, my pride, my will to fight, even my stubborn mind, and he did it in less than 6 months!!
Even after all this time I still feel the stings of that painful flood known as a reminder. The people around me who more than suffer daily, the lifestyle that I once lived that broke me into pieces, and especially the aloof behaviour that I now despise, it's tough to imagine that I once practiced that!! Human beings have been their own undoing since the first dummies disobeyed the father and caused the rest of us to suffer for generations!!
Let this be a guide to those who don't know, if you find yourself constantly stressed because life just doesn't seem what its supposed to be, then your being tested for a life that's even better in Christ!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tricks and Gimmicks
So here we are in another election season with this one being filled with more drama and bombs than World War I- III. It's a shame that in this time when the people have the power to interview their prospective candidates that this is not done, do we live in such a regressive state that the candidates do not answer to us but as seen in nearly all political rallies we answer to them? I take this time to remind my fellow voters/ countrymen that there is a very good reason this is referred to as "silly season." It's the season where silly reasons are exploited for acquiring votes because politicians are well aware that good sense does not prevail in this nation of ours. It's an all too common sight that people who have suffered at the hands of both parties and not held them accountable run throughout the streets praising and chanting the names of these very said people who ignore them mostly during their reign.
The power of choice is nothing to scoff at, it's a right of the people that should be used wisely and not abused. When we abuse such privileges that our ancestors worked hard towards attaining then that's a direct slap in the face for all of their efforts as such actions were meant to be treasured and used for the good of the people and to ensure the well being of the people. There is no point to claiming independence and aspiring towards self sustenance if we cannot even exercise democratic rights properly! We need to remember that the people that gave blood sweat and tears towards this "right" did so with the hope that we would utilize it with an impartial and unbiased mind as well as sound judgment. It's a shame the likes of Arthur Cipriani and Tubal Butler are turning in their graves for the sake of the immense levels of stupidity being displayed by today's voters.
To those of you that will see this I urge you to have understanding and good conscience in this upcoming election. It's not a war nor is it a competition to see who can bad talk who!! It's a democratic right that we alone as a people have the power to determine with good sense and dignity, I hope...................................................................
The power of choice is nothing to scoff at, it's a right of the people that should be used wisely and not abused. When we abuse such privileges that our ancestors worked hard towards attaining then that's a direct slap in the face for all of their efforts as such actions were meant to be treasured and used for the good of the people and to ensure the well being of the people. There is no point to claiming independence and aspiring towards self sustenance if we cannot even exercise democratic rights properly! We need to remember that the people that gave blood sweat and tears towards this "right" did so with the hope that we would utilize it with an impartial and unbiased mind as well as sound judgment. It's a shame the likes of Arthur Cipriani and Tubal Butler are turning in their graves for the sake of the immense levels of stupidity being displayed by today's voters.
To those of you that will see this I urge you to have understanding and good conscience in this upcoming election. It's not a war nor is it a competition to see who can bad talk who!! It's a democratic right that we alone as a people have the power to determine with good sense and dignity, I hope...................................................................
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Definition
The question of whether leaders are born or made, is constantly debated by many scholars and theorists around the globe for one simple reason, no one can agree on what makes a great leader. many examples of the successes and failures of leaders of iconic leaders of all types from the peaceful yet powerful Mahatma Ghandi, who taught that violence is not necessarily the price of freedom and democracy, to Adolf Hitler who proved that force is necessary in order to raise awareness.
Personally I believe that leaders are defined by their environments, I believe that leaders aren't born but molded from their ability to utilize their environment to their advantage. It is often the person who does this best who is then recognized by their peers as the leader, as they are seen as the example by which others must emulate in some form or manner. Over the years I've seen and experienced various forms of leadership qualities, from charismatic personalities, to brute force and sheer experience. Each was utilized in various environments and was successful because the environment demanded that this approach be taken in order for the success of the mission. It's the same with the varying personalities of all people, each is shaped based on the environment that it is steeped in and is in most cases unable to be adjusted due to an inability by the individual to make any adjustments.
Varying backgrounds aren't the only factor in defining personality though, there is also the elder contribution to consider. Personally being influenced by my elders, in particular my grandmother, I fully appreciate the guidance and knowledge that older folks can impart and the effects it may have on people, especially younger ones. In reference to the legendary Al Capone and Adolf Hitler, both were influenced by elders to rise to become world infamous villains. Both men were humble individuals with the potential to become great leaders, but because of their poor background and negative influence they instead became terrors of the world. The human mind is prone to impression and influence and is usually the most under developed function in the entire human body.
With light and reference given to these two fundamental factors of human definition, it is easier to behold how people can be amazingly similar and starkly opposite all in the same sentence. The last factor to consider is the personal opinion of an individual based on their experiences. The above two factors heavily influence this third consideration even though it has a definition all to itself. Similar experiences can be interpreted differently by varying individuals, the depth and perception of the interpretation is heavily dependent on the dominating personality traits of an individual. For example, an individual who is predominantly bold and aggressive will rebel in a situation where they lack control and will attempt to monopolize a situation by any means necessary, in contrast to a predominantly charismatic person who even though may share similar bold traits will find it easier to influence a situation without the need to assume control or become autocratic.
Personally I believe that leaders are defined by their environments, I believe that leaders aren't born but molded from their ability to utilize their environment to their advantage. It is often the person who does this best who is then recognized by their peers as the leader, as they are seen as the example by which others must emulate in some form or manner. Over the years I've seen and experienced various forms of leadership qualities, from charismatic personalities, to brute force and sheer experience. Each was utilized in various environments and was successful because the environment demanded that this approach be taken in order for the success of the mission. It's the same with the varying personalities of all people, each is shaped based on the environment that it is steeped in and is in most cases unable to be adjusted due to an inability by the individual to make any adjustments.
Varying backgrounds aren't the only factor in defining personality though, there is also the elder contribution to consider. Personally being influenced by my elders, in particular my grandmother, I fully appreciate the guidance and knowledge that older folks can impart and the effects it may have on people, especially younger ones. In reference to the legendary Al Capone and Adolf Hitler, both were influenced by elders to rise to become world infamous villains. Both men were humble individuals with the potential to become great leaders, but because of their poor background and negative influence they instead became terrors of the world. The human mind is prone to impression and influence and is usually the most under developed function in the entire human body.
With light and reference given to these two fundamental factors of human definition, it is easier to behold how people can be amazingly similar and starkly opposite all in the same sentence. The last factor to consider is the personal opinion of an individual based on their experiences. The above two factors heavily influence this third consideration even though it has a definition all to itself. Similar experiences can be interpreted differently by varying individuals, the depth and perception of the interpretation is heavily dependent on the dominating personality traits of an individual. For example, an individual who is predominantly bold and aggressive will rebel in a situation where they lack control and will attempt to monopolize a situation by any means necessary, in contrast to a predominantly charismatic person who even though may share similar bold traits will find it easier to influence a situation without the need to assume control or become autocratic.
It is important to appreciate that these differences are key to establishing proper relations in and out of the work place. These extreme personalities are not only abundant but essential to the continuous growth of any business whether it be global or just on the corner! Sadly though, we are usually intolerable of these differences and consequently that lack of basic tolerance is the leading cause of mass catastrophes in any environment as personal dislikes and shortened emotional borders reduce the individual's ability to understand that differences in each of us is what makes us unique as a species. We have the ability to be similarly built but individually created for multiple purposes and to handle monumental tasks! There is no other species of animal on the entire earth that comes remotely close.
True leaders will always prove to be those that can rise to the occasion whether formality exists or not. They are defined as movers and shakers that have lasting effects whether positive or negative....................................................................................................................................................................
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Understanding
Too many times the value of true understanding and appreciation is overlooked in our everyday lives. How is it that people who were created by a loving god can be so self-centred and cold towards the plight of others. Daily I'm amazed that the very people who cry for consideration by others in turn show none towards any one else because they're too caught up in their own lives and all of the problems that come with it.
Just today I witnessed the extremes to which a lack of understanding can create dissension in the work environment. An employee asked me to be a witness to a meeting with the General Manager in work today and the degeneration of the meeting was something to cry about. In one corner, there is a disgruntled employee who is not only young but from a broken background and attempting to break free from the barriers of poverty and strife. Facing seemingly impossible odds, from poor influences to low certification, he finds himself in the dregs of society constantly scorned upon and cast aside in favour of more academically inclined members of society. Highly misunderstood and unable to express himself appropriately in tense situations, on his own he is unable to bring his point across and is constantly ridiculed for his attempts to fit in and find himself in this cold world. In the other corner is a young manager battling with her responsibilities as well as motherhood and a family life, married at a young age and struggling to find her destiny, she is thrust into the complicated world of management practically unprepared for the strains and pains that come with rising through the corporate ladder. In this clash of varying personalities and lifestyles, there was no room for understanding by either party, what was intended to be a search for common ground was reduced to a hunt for blood with verbal missiles being fired on either end. Unfortunately, as the senior and superior, retaliation is often seen as arrogant and abusive because of the higher stature of the person holding a superior position. In the mind of the subordinate this retaliation is seen as condescending and hostile was not received well by the subordinate but matched with street like arrogance and as a result left the manager with no choice but to become authoritative as this was seemingly the only solution to the problem. It's a shame that this decision was made because had there been some sort of restraint and understanding displayed by the manager then maybe the employee would respond differently.
Most disturbingly is that there are people in your own circle who claim to understand who you are as a person on a whole but really only understand you from there own perspective and nothing else. It's a shame that people think this way, because those are the people who only know you for what they can get and nothing else. These people only see one side of you and attempt to persuade your entire person based on that one aspect of you. I've had such experiences in the past but one particular person has elevated this kind of behaviour to an extreme level where she expects to be worshiped by those around her. I'm uncertain as to how long men have displayed this kind of worshiping towards her, but I can honestly say that it's ruined her ability to move forward in life. She unknowingly has become dependent on the very people who worship her for motivation and opinions and is incapable of sourcing her own strength.
Always remember people that understanding is a word that describes how well we have a grasp on a situation. It has no limits or borders as to how much or how little we understand people, objects, functions or even the universe. Take time to observe and think before you act, otherwise you may be guilty of UNDERstanding and not comprehending.
Just today I witnessed the extremes to which a lack of understanding can create dissension in the work environment. An employee asked me to be a witness to a meeting with the General Manager in work today and the degeneration of the meeting was something to cry about. In one corner, there is a disgruntled employee who is not only young but from a broken background and attempting to break free from the barriers of poverty and strife. Facing seemingly impossible odds, from poor influences to low certification, he finds himself in the dregs of society constantly scorned upon and cast aside in favour of more academically inclined members of society. Highly misunderstood and unable to express himself appropriately in tense situations, on his own he is unable to bring his point across and is constantly ridiculed for his attempts to fit in and find himself in this cold world. In the other corner is a young manager battling with her responsibilities as well as motherhood and a family life, married at a young age and struggling to find her destiny, she is thrust into the complicated world of management practically unprepared for the strains and pains that come with rising through the corporate ladder. In this clash of varying personalities and lifestyles, there was no room for understanding by either party, what was intended to be a search for common ground was reduced to a hunt for blood with verbal missiles being fired on either end. Unfortunately, as the senior and superior, retaliation is often seen as arrogant and abusive because of the higher stature of the person holding a superior position. In the mind of the subordinate this retaliation is seen as condescending and hostile was not received well by the subordinate but matched with street like arrogance and as a result left the manager with no choice but to become authoritative as this was seemingly the only solution to the problem. It's a shame that this decision was made because had there been some sort of restraint and understanding displayed by the manager then maybe the employee would respond differently.
Most disturbingly is that there are people in your own circle who claim to understand who you are as a person on a whole but really only understand you from there own perspective and nothing else. It's a shame that people think this way, because those are the people who only know you for what they can get and nothing else. These people only see one side of you and attempt to persuade your entire person based on that one aspect of you. I've had such experiences in the past but one particular person has elevated this kind of behaviour to an extreme level where she expects to be worshiped by those around her. I'm uncertain as to how long men have displayed this kind of worshiping towards her, but I can honestly say that it's ruined her ability to move forward in life. She unknowingly has become dependent on the very people who worship her for motivation and opinions and is incapable of sourcing her own strength.
Always remember people that understanding is a word that describes how well we have a grasp on a situation. It has no limits or borders as to how much or how little we understand people, objects, functions or even the universe. Take time to observe and think before you act, otherwise you may be guilty of UNDERstanding and not comprehending.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Power
Power means different things to different people, and as a result it is prioritized differently by different people. The true meaning of power has been debated for years and once again comes down to the personality involved. It is however agreed that power and control are almost one and the same as neither can function without the other. Personally speaking I define power as the source from which one is able to perform a given task or function. Using this definition, it follows that those with more power are able to do more and achieve more. It also follows the notion that power requires control for without control power is but a static force.
Having said the above, it must be pointed out that my views and definitions are as general as possible. The display and use of power has proven to be a controversial and stalling point in many aspects of life. Power has been used to attack and defend principles and ideals as well as traditions and beliefs, the line between good and bad in these uses is always the true source of conflict and many theorists have tried to clarify this line but all have failed miserably as it still and will always come down to personal values, ethics and morals. As each is as distinct as they are common, so to is the manner in which they will influence the use of power and authority. Therefore a person raised in a home or an environment where violence and dictatorship is the only way to become recognized can't be expected to be a flexible or charismatic individual. Gaining their respect can only be done through the display of brute force that must exceed their own by a sustainable margin. Anything less will be seen as a sign of weakness and will be given far less consideration than their own beliefs and foundation. In the same speed, such backgrounds have an underlying longing for a softer care and love that although it may be buried by the individual, will from time to time emerge in proper conditions and timing.
With so many variables to the definition and interpretation of power it is difficult to determine when lines are crossed other than by observing the various limits of people in differing circumstances. It is sadly left up to the borders of the very complicated human beings who seek clarification on a topic they themselves complicate.
Having said the above, it must be pointed out that my views and definitions are as general as possible. The display and use of power has proven to be a controversial and stalling point in many aspects of life. Power has been used to attack and defend principles and ideals as well as traditions and beliefs, the line between good and bad in these uses is always the true source of conflict and many theorists have tried to clarify this line but all have failed miserably as it still and will always come down to personal values, ethics and morals. As each is as distinct as they are common, so to is the manner in which they will influence the use of power and authority. Therefore a person raised in a home or an environment where violence and dictatorship is the only way to become recognized can't be expected to be a flexible or charismatic individual. Gaining their respect can only be done through the display of brute force that must exceed their own by a sustainable margin. Anything less will be seen as a sign of weakness and will be given far less consideration than their own beliefs and foundation. In the same speed, such backgrounds have an underlying longing for a softer care and love that although it may be buried by the individual, will from time to time emerge in proper conditions and timing.
With so many variables to the definition and interpretation of power it is difficult to determine when lines are crossed other than by observing the various limits of people in differing circumstances. It is sadly left up to the borders of the very complicated human beings who seek clarification on a topic they themselves complicate.
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