Friends and Benefits

So you're wondering what to do with that friend who's been flirting with you for the past how long, they seem nicer than anyone you've ever met, they know almost every detail about you until they become practically prophetic. Well I have to admit I'm currently in the same predicament because such people are seemingly rare in these turbulent times. This situation has happened to millions of people around the world and admittedly, my own research has revealed that the majority of "friendships" that follow this path result in not only divorce but bitter fights and heightened emotions because of the perceived understanding that existed.

The truth of the matter is that understanding friends and comprehending lovers are two parallel topics with very little in common. Friends who seemingly maintain a level of understanding that go beyond the normal level of social interaction are just that, there's no intimacy that qualifies them to be anything else but two or more people who share common interests and an understanding of each other that involves no intimacy whatsoever. People who share this understanding have either been in the same social environment for an extended period of time or have discovered that they share similar thought patterns and experiences in life. The real difference has to be in the level of relations between the individuals as this is where the line is often confused. Truth be told, friends can relate to each other much easier than couples as the expectation of compromise is less as well as the consequences of the relations. A good example of this would be the types of conversations that occur between friends and couples, it is far easier to tell a friend than your significant other about your past relationships and escapades as the expectation is that the friend can only make a light comment or even laugh depending on the nature of the event, but there will be NO judgmental stares or feelings being offended because missing from that correspondence will be the INTIMATE feelings that will exist in a relationship between couples. If a couple had such a conversation there would be long lasting repercussions emotionally and to a lesser extent psychologically depending on the nature of the situation being discussed. In the case of the conversation relating to past relationships, one partner talking about how great their past relationships were will result in the other feeling completely outclassed and outgunned as compared to having the same conversation with a friend who may not have been there to witness such escapades. The reality of the situation is that couples have greater feelings on the line and greater care is required in order to maintain their balance.

Seems simple but the real complication now enters where there are friendships where such care is required. These friendships are much more complicated and while they may not necessarily involve the intimacy level of a couple, some does exist and that's a fact. It becomes worst when the individuals are from either gender as this mix of contact and understanding becomes confusing for either party. The reason for this confusion is that the relations resemble the courting process between a potential couple to a great extent. If your having trouble believing me then allow me to clarify with the following example; a boy likes a girl and begins the courting process, the two have met via a mutual friend and begin conversing to discover details about the other, meanwhile a girl has just met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday party and during the introductions discover that he not only favours the same types of food as she does but also the same taste in music so they begin to converse to see what else they have in common. So far we have two similar meetings under two different circumstances, BUT the outcome is the SAME where the two end up furthering their discussions for the same purposes. So now fast forward to some moons later where we check up on our four individuals to see how they're doing, turns out that the couple to be end up together after the courting period, we all know how that goes, lots of quality time together, dinner, movie, maybe go a couple social event together, but the whole world can see that something is up with them until the revelation. The friends who have similar tastes however find themselves in the same situation, in an attempt to build their friendship, they go out to social events together, call each other constantly conversing at random hours about various topics, even do dinner together or with mutual friends. Soon the world notices that these so called friends seem to have a deeper connection than a simple friendship, the level of intimacy outside of the social circle is clear for all to see for it permeates into the general public as the friendship grows. If any of this sounds familiar, then you're in more than a friendship my friend, you're in what is known as a platonic relationship where friends flirt and relate to each other to the level of a couple. The thing is with these types of relationships are the levels of complications that come with them, there's no telling who's who and where the each stands with the other because after a while you become exclusive to your "friend." In case your not following still, the truth of the matter is that when friendships evolve to this level, you're not even allowed to have other friends and a full blown relationship is imminent.

Now before you go running off and telling your "friend" that there are more than friendship feelings involved, you'll need to be sure that the timing is correct. It's a well known fact that some people take longer than others to confess their true feelings because they themselves are unable to assess what's going on. The truth must be seen that just as you are confused as to the extent of feelings involved, the friend is just as confused. It's much wiser to test for particular signs that more than a friendship is at work. The signs are simple yet complicated, for example, if you notice that she's a bit more touchy than you're accustomed to then that's a sign that things are stepping up. Even if the conversations between you two or more become more intense in terms of how you feel about each other then chances are you're facing more than a friendship. Think about it you might either be heading for bliss or destruction...............................................................................................................................