Fearing Success

We all face it at some point in time, on the verge of making a huge breakthrough in life and then we choke. After all the hard work we put into achieving our dreams, when the day comes to actually reach out and grab it, we hold back, fear grips us for some inexplicable reason, all of a sudden we have millions of excuses why we suddenly can't reach out and take what's ours. If you think that this will never in a million years be you, I'm sorry to say but you're in denial. Think I'm lying then here's the proof; how many situations have you been in where you had an ideal opportunity to acquire something valuable and didn't take it? It doesn't have to be anything major all the time, even something as simple as someone gave you a skip in line, offered to pay your taxi fare, even if a family member attempted to assist you and you had every excuse written and spoken as to why you "was good and go make?" Well that my friend is having a fear of success at the most basic levels of life.

The fear of success is quite simply the fear of attaining anything better for ourselves. No matter how many twists you put on it, withholding yourself from achieving the rewards of hard work, a good deed, or even a random legal opportunity to acquire something to your benefit are all signs of fearing success. Now don't lie to yourself here, be honest, you're guilty of it in more than one aspect of your life. If you still need convincing after all of that then let's get personal, so you're in a relationship with what you would term a "great" person, they've got all the signs of your version of a perfect relationship and you're ready to take things to the next level, with one exception, for some inexplicable reason, you can't convince yourself that it's the right thing to do. All of a sudden, you find faults with your "perfect" match, next thing you know you're suddenly unsure if you even want to commit, why you're with the person or where you want to go with the relationship. It becomes inconceivable that you are even considering settling with this person who was once so perfect and unmatchable. Think that can't be you? Well consider how many relationships have failed in your life because of some petty reason that even you can't explain. It could be something as simple as a disagreement with tastes in life, style of clothes, or even their status in life wasn't where you expect it to be at that point in time. Think about what was so bad about the person then that you just couldn't commit despite all that you thought was so glorious about them before, because chances are it was your own fear that made you run. That feeling in your stomach that you just can't go forward because things are too good to be true is also known as a fear of success. Another good example would be those of you who are absolutely fed up of your job and curse daily about how you would leave at the first opportunity you get, when that opportunity does come along now, you back track because the conditions and terms are not the same as your previous job! What about those of you who save money to move and own your own home, find the home of your dreams and just because you have to wake up an hour earlier to get to work you don't take the house and lose out? Yes you are also victims of this very unfortunate but prevalent disease, you're no better than those who quit school and never start again because they're afraid they'll quit again or those amongst us who never even try because we're convinced that if we do we'll fail.

This fear is self sabotaging and quite frankly destructive to wider society as people who suffer from this disease spread it to others as panic and despair. Such is the contagious nature of this disease that even a shred of it is enough to shake the foundation of the best of us. So now that we've established that you're a definite fellow sufferer, let's see what we can do to fix this mess. You've already gotten past step one which is acceptance that yes you really do have a problem, the next step is to address the source of the fear, i.e. what is it that you're afraid of and why it scares you. To find this answer you must be completely honest with yourself, so if the situation is one where you're about to embark on a career changing job and you're wondering why you're reluctant to move then the following reasons maybe holding you back, 1) a fear of job security, 2) meeting new people, 3) adjusting to a new lifestyle that you may be unfamiliar with or dislike, 4) adjusting to the job itself and 5) leaving your established routine. All these are genuine reasons for being afraid and it only becomes harmful when you do not acknowledge that you have a situation to address. It gets worse when you not only deny that you have a problem but you spend time actually trying to suppress the fear and replace your will to fight with excuses and stories about why you just can't make it, after that you self implode into a pile of unrecognizable rubble known as depression and doubt. Whether you're of christian faith or not given a spirit of fear but of courage and valour in god, but if you don't recognize that you're actually afraid then you won't know that you should fight now would you?

The worst part about fearing success has to be the implications on wider society, people fail to realize how powerful a contagious disease can be, it begins with one person and then as they come into contact with others, those who don't have the strength of faith and character to fight the fear find themselves agreeing with it and falling into the same circle. Just the other day I ran into a gentleman who has the world of financial worries, he has a house to fix, car to maintain, child to see about, a girlfriend to maintain and a job that doesn't even pay for gas, I offered this guy a similar job at a much higher rate paying more than double what he making and he didn't accept it because he was afraid that if he did basic exercise he would faint and never recover from the embarrassment! He managed to infect at least three (3) other people with that disease and demotivated an entire team of soldiers because of his actions. His situation is a blatant example of a fear of success untreated, he's spent years underachieving and never doing anything to better himself. He always had an excuse as to why he can't go further and when he is provided with a blatant way out he runs away because he never learned to have the courage to succeed. Think in your own life how many times this has happened to you and how you reacted and then ask yourself if you acted with courage

People we need to realize that there's no shame in being afraid, there's no harm in admitting that you need help to go forward. We build walls to keep others out and to hide ourselves from the pains that scare us, but think about it, what are we really hiding from? I once built a fortress around myself because I was afraid that everytime someone gets close I'll be hurt. Well I have news for you, no matter how you try you're always going to get hurt because even if you hide yourself behind a wall of titanium, the time will come when you'll be banging your own head against it to escape, makes you wonder who's really been hurting who all along doesn't it? Beware the Earthbound Immortal Timidus