Kiss and Tell

The old foundations of romance and intimacy are fast eroding to a new and destructive concept of boastful sex. These days it seems so much easier to speak loudly and proudly of how many women or men someone has been with rather than focus that time and energy towards building a healthy and stable home.

This new age thinking is derived mainly from the rebellion ages of the 70s and 80s where freedom of sexuality was incorrectly perceived as the freedom of promiscuity. The old borders of tact and control gave way to a new and bold open expression that set the stage for the demise of society. No one was ready for these newfound freedoms and psychologically it let loose an epidemic of inhibitions that led to insane social taboos each year outdoing the last for innovation, recklessness, obscenity and turbulence. Daredevils they became upping the ante every chance they got, from multiple partners to multiple partners in bed all at the same time. Homes were invaded by a generation free to experiment with their bodies unchecked and so they did it all, from drugs to multiple orgies to bdsm and the list goes on. The human body began to be pushed to new extremes with new devices and fetishes being revealed and made public. These revelations have led to indiscriminately unleashed lust and an abuse of new found knowledge and daring that have beyond noticeably shaken the once formal public facet. Interestingly enough all of these seemingly new detached sexual escapades have been secretly running underground for years, from J Edgar Hoover's secret  boyfriend to discreet infidelity acts once shunned by the elders publicly but murmured around in circles of the in the know.

The question begs, was it only a matter of time before the pressures of secrecy caused a massive cave in and give rise to the rebels? Well bear in mind these same rebels tore down the Berlin wall, ended the cold war, gave rise to retail riches, reinvented the art of music repeatedly and single handedly revolutionized the ideas of Hollywood and the now mighty Bollywood and nollywood. Personally having examined this aspect of it, I do not believe humanity still understands the destructive power of desire. For years we have gotten it wrong and in many mythologies it has been the downfall of many empires, from the storied city of Troy to the hallowed halls of the palace of king Solomon the wise.

To me desire is just a temporary burst of passion that ought not to be a decision making factor. I do not believe in one night sexcapades nor do I believe in allowing lust to overwhelm my decision making process. These bursts of emotions are blinding and lead to many a ruined home and failed expectation and sadly many a broken heart. Learn the difference people, desire and lust do not equate love. Never have and never will, Delilah killed Sampson with desire, Troy fell because of lust and many a great man has been ruined because of unbridled hormones. Learn those lessons!!

Ashes to Ashes

Quiet nights these eyes often seek, a peaceful soul you yearn to keep. Birthed in humility, raised in country bliss, an untamed spirit got planted in the depths of conformity and acceptance. Forced to sacrifice joy for semblance of sanity, many nights the tears soak pillows and sheets, weep after weep, week after week, no escape seems in sight for me.

I wonder daily how these two footed robots fail to feel, fail to imagine, fail to dream. They go about their routine with mechanical ease, drowning in routine and constant monotony. There was a time I could look at the skies and feel the winds of tomorrow clearing the clouds so I can see the stars, each star I wished on and prayed that I would see double the days that I counted. For a while there was bliss, for a while nothing hissed, for a while there was nothing but the Caribbean breeze under the shade of a broad palm leaf.

Concrete is the box I call home, even the mosquitoes are afraid of this desolation. The iron and glass prisons offer no magnificence to even gently tickle my imagination. My chains are heavy, my tears are plenty, my cries deafeningly silent as the master whips his slave calling me to work on this godforsaken plantation. No longer do the winds of tomorrow show me the stars to count my days, they don't even dance on my hair and cheeks and ask me to play.

Someday I will be free, someday I will smile with glee, someday I will walk amongst the playful winds of tomorrow's bright promise. And as each night falls and the burning pains of the day pass away, quietly I fall on my knees and pray, father don't forget me, you promised me that you will always protect me! You promised me that you will never leave me, you promised me that you will always be close to my heart so please don't leave me! This place is so scary and I feel so alone, even a hug from you will light my dimming eyes up just one more time so I can dream of a tropical sunrise where I can truly be ashes to ashes, servant to servant, angel to angel.

Society truths

Sometimes I meet people and I try my best to understand who they are as individuals but it ends up back firing. I always find with those people they're very distrusting of themselves due to their inability to properly mask their insecurities. Some go so far as to hide behind ideals and concepts as a fortress of justification in the name of covering their very exposed weaknesses.

Well to you people I can only say that not only do I see you but the world sees you. We all see how childish and petty you are, we all see your frailties, your fears, your tears, we see the nightmares and we see that you caused them all. A connection with someone is based on communication but if you refuse to share in that communication then who gonna take you seriously?? Without that communication no one will know what you really have to offer because no one will waste time attempting to see past all your very visible flaws in the name of interest alone. All that leaves is your vessel which in itself isn't a coveted prize because there's no substance in the vessel to be seen. Then you turn and complain that you been used and abused by the world and that its so cold and cruel but what have you done about it? Where in the equation did you set the standard for who you are and what you expect? Don't you know that how you interact with others shows the standard you're willing to accept? So if there is no standard then how can you claim to want any?

Something people do not realize, when you try to build a fortress to shield yourself away from the world you actually expose all your precious secrets because they're only cages that we can see right through so no one is interested in helping them get free of their master. That's the equivalent of bleeding from the stomach but covering it with a sheet and saying you're not in distress. Well when the world doesn't want to help you don't say it's the world's fault, man up, be honest and confess that you yourself are to blame with your cowardly spineless ways. The fighting spirit of humanity is most definitely lacking in the likes of you. Thankfully just like a cockroach if you threaten to step on it alone you too will runaway from anyone looking like they coming to stamp out your pains because you're too busy holding on to them. #patheticinfidels

Fact or Theory

It's a struggle today being a parent, children are exposed to more and more to concepts and follies far above their developing intellect. Society demands that children grow up faster and develop adult minds early in their teen years. From the images on the television to the mainstream music played on radios, the subliminal messages are everywhere and in overwhelming amounts! Even as adults we are pressured to quickly understand and manage the all the new information that is supposedly based on facts developed by scientists who have spent years proving their theories. Here's the problem, most humans are not aware that science of any nature isn't concrete facts. Its actually a study of observations and emotional thought to prove them as a basis for facts. For example, behavioural sciences are meant to study the complexities of the human mind by making a map print of similar traits and/or patterns in human behaviour to then develop a hypothesis based on that pattern which people now take as facts! Anatomical science is the study of living bodies to identify the functions and purpose of each part in depth to provide q base platform for healing and development. Here's the problem, this to is a bunch of hypotheses and theories as the human body has continued to baffle the logic of scientists with its seemingly limitless capabilities as more and more people are stepping forward with what is called "unique abilities". Science is not fact! It is not concrete evidence of anything and therefore does not constitute as a valid source of information to ingest. I'm not here to disprove the accomplishments of science, even the very phone I'm using to print this message is based on science. What I am saying is that people need to learn to identify correct sources of information before running around quoting everything and everyone!

Also to bear in mind is our evolutionary process as human beings. Everyday new information is revealed and foundations are shifted because of it. However we ought to note that these foundations aren't sturdy to begin with, like the concept of the beginning of life by science and their big bang theory or the sudden disappearance of dinosaurs by some great meteor! All wild imaginary ideas even a child could drum up but yet to be proven!! The religious folks will think they have won in that all their evidence is proven. Well I have news for you morons too, your teachings are not only shaky but greatly manipulated by the inaccurate interpretations of man! Your no different to the scientists who you  wage war against!! I remember a pastor saying that one cannot achieve growth without planting a seed, all well and good but what is this seed? His interpretation? Money!! Here's the problem, yes it is true that by logic no plant can grow without a seed but to say that seed is money alone and that if you give more money then you shall receive more blessings is folly!! Seed is a source and therefore is not limited to money you greedy ass dumb fuck! How is it I can pass crucial exams by giving you more money? How can I get that job by giving you more money? How can I acquire a loan by giving you more money? Money is not seed!! I can only speak

Ode to You

I think long and hard about you many days, wondering who you are and when I will meet you. There have been many illusions before and to be honest I'm unsure I'm still ready to meet you but I'm pushing harder to be ready.

This world is a dark place however and sadly it's getting darker by the day as evil grows and heroes fall with their lights fading away one by one. I still pray that I will meet you one day and we can have a life together in what may not be the ideal paradise but we can make it one. Our lights can shine brightly together paving the way for what will be a glorious rainbow shining over the horizon. I'm not sure what you will look like or what I'm gonna meet you with but I will try my best with all that I have to be the man you imagined me to be. You may be older or you may be younger or you may even be from my past, whoever you are I look forward to meeting you someday. Life is actually very beautiful when you remove the dramatic and unproductive as well as the discontented and agitating. I've seen what a sample of harmony is in a true relationship and I won't lie, it is amazing to say the least! Many days I've spent in bliss wondering what happiness awaits next, and truthfully it has been some of the simplest things that brought me so much joy, such as random hugs, unexpected compliments and spur of the moment kisses. Might seem silly but to me these things make so much sense, it brings me much comfort and joy and I hope that it brings you the same feelings for I have many to give.

Maybe I'm hoping for too much or maybe I'm stuck in a hopeless fantasy, these are things the world would like me to believe but I've never been a man of the world nor a fan of it's ideals. I believe in unrestricted love, unconditional passion and above all else blind love! I don't ever believe that anything ought to be held back between true friends because I believe lovers are true friends and true friends have an inseparable bond. The security of that bond is a feeling I cannot even begin to describe, I've experienced it and the thrill of such affection was enough to send me wild. Made me do lots of things that to this day I have never replicated!! Sad is the day I had to give up such connections but I can tell you I know what they feel like and I know I'm willing to make that connection once again. I hope our bond is even stronger than those from before, I pray that our friendship is even more enjoyable than those before, I dream daily that our trust is even greater than those before. Neither of us are perfect but that's what learning is about, to teach us how to be beautifully perfect for each other in peaceful bliss.

Someday we'll meet, someday we'll greet but until that day I'll be faithfully waiting for you, because even now I already know nothing compares to your heavenly blessing…………………………………

Swords of Revealing Light

Revelations are those which most of us don't understand until it's too late. For me I see them as answers awaiting arrival at the right time and for the right reasons from almighty God Jehovah! In all my days nothing has been truer as time and time again he has shown why his ways are higher than my ways. He has revealed the truths about situations I've been in, people I've kept around me and the lifestyle I was living. Most importantly he has shown me truths about myself, the life I'm supposed to live and the ideals I ought to put forward as my image.

Too often I become entangled in the images I see and not the image I ought to show. In this world of excess and overindulgence, it's far too easy for the mind to be tempted and the heart to be grieved. This is a world of plentiful and even though suffering exists everywhere it's actually restrained to a select few. As a man living amongst this planet of apes, I have been tempted to become an ape, behave like an ape, suffer like an ape but yet still look like a man. If you're not following think of how humanly apes look yet still we know them as beasts and not human beings and now you begin to see the derelict of confusion that is the modern world. My strength is in my god given ability to blend without succumbing, I can be in the world without being of the world. Easily I adapt and see the strengths and weaknesses of human overindulgence, the struggles of poor planning and the destruction that is caused by pride and arrogance. Sadly though adaptation removes me from the mirror I ought to be looking at regularly to ensure I develop and reinforce my own weaknesses and build my strengths. I recently glanced in that mirror and realized despite how far I have come I have much further to go. My pride is the fuel of my overconfidence which blinds me from avoiding the trip holes I'm prone to falling into. Tunnel vision is a dangerous trait of mine and I'm yet to get out of this habit even though the consequences have time and time again proven detrimental to me. I realized it in one of those crude management training sessions my boss puts me through, I'm unable to look closer into the big picture and miss many details. I'm actually not sure how to deal with this as it plays into another blind spot of mine which is complacency. I'm the last to admit how very complacent and procrastinating I actually am and I think it's time I come to terms with these facts. Details do matter and without them I'm surely doomed and would fail to command the respect that I currently enjoy.

I do believe if more people spent time working on themselves and not make mischief in the world we might be living in a better life. After work and sleep I'm constantly preoccupied with analyzing myself for flaws in my system and I have found many. I'm yet to realize where this lack of motivation to exercise comes from, whether it's a natural dislike for exercise or if I'm just that lazy or something traumatic that maybe on the top of my mind. It always amazes me that I can easily identify flaws and solutions to those flaws but can't formulate even a hypothesis to my own shortcomings. It's more or less the saying of seeing a splinter of the eyes of another via the the big piece of wood in my own eyes. Never thought I would own up to being like those I so criticized of such traits, the reality I'd though that it's far easier to study and identify a subject rather than be the subject for the simple reason that it takes much longer to see past your blind spot. Much like driving a car, there are certain points on the vehicle that the driver simply cannot see past unless they're the passenger. Even as the passenger though its still your vehicle so only someone on the outside can see what's really going on with your driving but that outside person can only guesstimate any issues or problems with your vehicle by listening for familiar noises or signs but only you can really check your car to see what the source of the issue is.

Clarity is a strange thing, as I write this I realize even for myself that I was right to start being more open with others. That openness can save my life from a perilous wreck if I'm not grown enough to realize that an experienced mechanic is needed on my side to survive this road to life. Yes its true that some people seem like experts when in truth and fact they're only there to derail your efforts by misleading you about what the issue with your life car really is. At the end of the day only you can really check and find the source of any malfunctions in your life car.

The Friend Zone, myth or reality?

It's a nightmare to some, a safe haven for others and to the rest it's a series of questions and hieroglyphics demanding answers to explain it's alien presence. Both sexes use it without doubt but the circumstances around the term "friend zone" clearly varies from person to person and gender to gender.

Interviews with several persons of differing backgrounds and lifestyles yield startling similarities while identifying key differences in their definitions. For ken a professional barber and university student, the friend zone is a myth, he doesn't believe it exists period and his reasons why are intriguing. According to ken, all relationships are based on friendship of some sort so to state that a dreaded friend zone exists would be to consider all relationships dreaded. His parents were longtime friends who eventually pursued an intimate relationship which grew into marriage, for him this friendship is key to their success and is fundamental to his relationships. Without that friendship he states that no relationship would last because as he puts it, "who know yuh better than yuh friend?"

According to his perspective, the friend zone that society despises is actually fundamental towards building a solid relationship. Simply interpreted you have a better a chance of intimacy in the friend zone according to ken. The next person I interviewed was Andre, he's an accounting officer and defines the friend zone as a confused state of mind. He identifies that most relations in the so called friend zone are very platonic and are the cause of many misinterpreted signals from both sexes which then leads to drama. Based on his theory, there are different levels of the friend zone, the first being a nonsexual platonic level and the second being a sex only communication type where as long as no intimacy exists everyone ought to be happy. He states that this mix of emotions, intimacy and communication is what causes signals to be misread and intentions to be over and underestimated. Is he correct? Well have you ever had someone correctly caress you based on information you gave them and then wondered how you suddenly feel romantic around that person? Have you been on a seemingly harmless date with a friend in a very intimate setting that unexpectedly arose deep feelings? These according to Andre are but a few situations where we send the wrong signals to those we do not consider romantically to expect us to now be romantically involved to the point of sexual relations.

Taking a step back though, its clear that men see the friend zone as a black and white scenario. For them it's either you're getting sex or its just a friendship. Most men interviewed see the friend zone as a place where there's no hope of getting sex in the immediate future. Not some place many care to be and it's actually frowned upon when the situation comes up that sex is not involved. Well then there's the female perspective, like men women too see the friend zone as a place where little or no sex is involved but there's more. Allison gave her account of once being friend zoned by a man she genuinely liked as boyfriend material. According to her the friend said theirs  was a friendship he treasured greatly, too much to complicate with titles such as boyfriend or soul mates but he was fine with them having sex to which she objected. She stated that the friendship was based on communication, understanding and compromise, except when that discussion came up but otherwise he was someone she saw as a match for her. Listening to her story was interesting because now you have a woman talking about intimacy coming first instead of the initial attraction. She however is adamant that friends do not have sex with each other and this is where my interest really geared up. To her sex crosses a line of friendship, she says that once sex is involved she expects more than just a mere friendship. To her friends are those she partially confides in, while her significant other is her rock and house. Well now this puts a whole new spin on relations with others, here we have borders being established of a different kind. Camille and Traycee had a slightly different story to Allison, both women agreed that if the initial attraction isn't there then there's no chance of it ever being there even if you some how managed to make their grade of desire. To them the friend zone doesn't exist, they see it as clear cut, either sex is involved or it isn't. As long as there's no sex you're only appreciated as a companion and nothing more. Is that the same as the friend zone? Maybe, but considering they both agreed that friends are not people you attract yourself to then no its not. They identify friends as people they can be intimate with on a mental and spiritual level. To them a member of the same or opposite sex who has intentions of being sexually involved can never be a friend. This view is similar to that of Raquel, a final year student who has had many encounters with friends being attracted to her. The only spoken for member of the interviewed team, her reasons for maintaining a border r strictly because of her relationship with her current boyfriend. Asked what would have become of said suitors had she been single and her answers are now the same as Camille and Traycee.

What has this all taught us? Simple, to women if you're someone they can partially count on to supply their needs then prepare to be treated as just that, a partial supplier. To men, if you're a woman who supplies part of their needs then prepare to be treated as just that, a partial supplier. When it comes right down to it this partial supply is what is really known as "the friend zone."