Failure

Giving until it hurts really does hurt! It hurts a lot more than we are ever warned, people drain you, leave you with nothing, scrap you down to less than your skeleton and then move on. I don't know where you came from or why I'm even next to you, but all you've ever done is take away all of my blessings. Long ago I used to live for me, to ensure that I got everything that I wanted and you changed that, you told me I was wrong to live that way and I believed you. I started sacrificing and giving to others, now look where it's gotten me, you living well and I'm in suffering. You took as much as you could away from me, left me bare, alone and empty. I have never been the same since that fateful day, now things are worst because even my family thinks like you. You were a wake up call to how cold this world really is, trusting in humans is something I struggle to do ever again. There's little of me left to barely salvage, all I am now is just scattered wreckage, I can't even control my own emotions and make sense of this life.

Everybody has their own opinion of how I should live my life, but those opinions all come with the same catch line, live for me so long as I give to them and when they suck me dry they get up and leave me for dead. It's all the same no matter where I turn, even the church is filled with the likes of these hypocrites. I hope the world is happy because now I'm a broken mess, stripped to nothing because even my pride has left! It doesn't matter what happens to me now, I have nothing left, not even a shred of hope to smile about. They say if I turn to the lord I'll see my way, but those who said that are all the same, users, abusers and rapers, taking away every last sense of what was my self respect and dignity. This is truly the end because I'm done fighting, can't hold a job and have no family to help me. I'm always left alone to face the cruelties of this world, mobbed by pretenders who are wolves in sheep clothing. As I'm on that topic of family, you bitches are the worst people on this planet. I gave you everything and you left me hanging, the people that are supposed to support me the most actually support me the least. Of all the betrayals I've faced in life, yours was the worst and you still haven't stopped. Someday I'll be gone and you won't have me to torture, by that time I'm glad I won't be able to see why you tore me to pieces.

This world is no place for someone like me, a soldier who believes that kindness is strength and a model for life. At the end of the day you're all going to be sorry, because the destruction you created will eventually eat you alive like the assholes you are. I'm not sure what to do with myself now, I've been beaten and everywhere I look all I see are frowns, this world is more than upside down it's just a mess and continually deteriorating. So many times I've hit the reset button, but I just can't get this shit right no matter how much I try. So fuck it all I'm really done, the next one of you comes near me I swear I'll put you below the ground! I don't care about prison or death, at least in those places I know what's next. Dear lord hear my cries, I'm lost and alone with no one by my side, show me a sign that this isn't permanent, this emptiness is more than I can bare anymore. I've failed in life to answer your calling, I've failed in life at everything I've attempted, I guess that's the only thing in my life that's consistent.