This one is for those of us who are confused as to why relationships degenerate to embarrassing levels in public. Let's all be honest with ourselves, no one likes to be humiliated especially in the middle of "john" public for any reason, much less personal ones like relationship drama. Now a dear friend of mine unfortunately witnessed such an event and was understandably upset by the boy's behaviour. Personally I was always raised to NEVER insult, offend, disrespect, embarrass, frustrate or damage anyone in life, especially women, needless to say if I see any of my people performing such acts it's met with a very negative response from me. So now, here we have a situation where for some reason, this boy is insulting the people girl child in a very public place for some reason and the girl is just there taking all the humiliation.
I have a couple of issues with this situation as it brings back some old and some recent memories in such circumstances, firstly, as a member of the male species it is absolutely ignorant for him to insult and disrespect a woman in public for any reason. If you have soo much issues with the woman then you should either leave her and go your merry way or wait until you get home and sort out whatever drama is in the relationship. Secondly, that woman is some kind of a dummy to even consider sitting there and accepting such attitude, whether she's right wrong or indifferent, that is really a sad display of how low her self respect really is. Now onto the most puzzling and disturbing part of the whole situation, and that is the actual reason for his behaviour and her reaction, I have to admit that relationships are beyond complicated so any number of reasons could explain this matter. Recently I too was reminded as to how out of hand these things get, an after work lime went horribly wrong recently when the driver got a call to pick up a friend he knew in price plaza chaguanas before we made our way home. After we picked up the friend and began making our way back on course, we were signalled to pull over by a white wagon to which the driver obliged. My first thought was it may have been an unmarked police car until the driver stormed out and started cursing the driver, if that wasn't bad enough he pulled the young lady we picked up and started punching her all over! At this point I exited the vehicle and accosted the abusive boy armed with my trusty utility blade. He backed off and eventually left the area after I threatened to kill him. The story that followed was even more disturbing, it turns out that the driver of our vehicle knew the abusive man and only pulled over because he recognized the vehicle. He also knew that the man and the girl had an on and off relationship and that things weren't entirely over with them. The relationship was long ended but they were still sleeping together so the emotions are more than still running high. It was so bad that when we dropped the young lady at the police station, no one else but me was with her to make the report as they knew that she was still leading on the man despite her claims that she was not seeing him. She admitted to me that she was still sleeping with him but always told him that she was with someone else. Now people, this is what I am speaking about, HOW CAN YOU HAVE SEX OR ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH AN EX BOYFRIEND/ GIRLFRIEND AND NOT EXPECT FEELINGS TO BE INVOLVED? No matter who you are, if you were in a relationship where feelings were very strong and things were never really resolved, you're going to surprise yourself by your own reactions when this person returns to your life in such a personal style. The sad part is that these things occur on a regular basis and when the public sees the man's reaction then automatically the world of men need to learn respect! I'm being honest with you had I known that she was sleeping with the man from before I really wasn't getting out of that vehicle because that is a clear case of "put yuh hand in hot water, bound to bun!" There is no way you can put someone in such a situation and not expect these things to happen, men and women are emotional creatures and situations that play on our emotions usually end up in reactions like that whether we are christian or not!
This isn't the first time I've seen or heard of such situations and to be honest no matter who the victim is, my position on such actions remain the same. While it is true that respect is due to each other, it is also true that if you break such then you really shouldn't expect the other person to maintain their respect for you. I myself have been placed in situations where I've had to publicly embarrass a woman because she refused to tell the truth over something like why she's having an external relationship with another man while being with me! So people let's all be grown here, forgiveness is divine, forgetfullness a blessing, but stupidity is a sin, even the almighty father who we worship in spirit and truth has shown us that there is a limit to how far disrespect will be tolerated (see the story of noah and the book of revelation). Now having said such a thing, it would be really hypocritical of me to omit that god did say he was sorry for causing the flood and so to we must always ensure to make amends and peace for such actions, just as those who offend us are expected to make amends with us when we are offended.
Beware the Earthbound Immortal Furor
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Friends and Benefits
So you're wondering what to do with that friend who's been flirting with you for the past how long, they seem nicer than anyone you've ever met, they know almost every detail about you until they become practically prophetic. Well I have to admit I'm currently in the same predicament because such people are seemingly rare in these turbulent times. This situation has happened to millions of people around the world and admittedly, my own research has revealed that the majority of "friendships" that follow this path result in not only divorce but bitter fights and heightened emotions because of the perceived understanding that existed.
The truth of the matter is that understanding friends and comprehending lovers are two parallel topics with very little in common. Friends who seemingly maintain a level of understanding that go beyond the normal level of social interaction are just that, there's no intimacy that qualifies them to be anything else but two or more people who share common interests and an understanding of each other that involves no intimacy whatsoever. People who share this understanding have either been in the same social environment for an extended period of time or have discovered that they share similar thought patterns and experiences in life. The real difference has to be in the level of relations between the individuals as this is where the line is often confused. Truth be told, friends can relate to each other much easier than couples as the expectation of compromise is less as well as the consequences of the relations. A good example of this would be the types of conversations that occur between friends and couples, it is far easier to tell a friend than your significant other about your past relationships and escapades as the expectation is that the friend can only make a light comment or even laugh depending on the nature of the event, but there will be NO judgmental stares or feelings being offended because missing from that correspondence will be the INTIMATE feelings that will exist in a relationship between couples. If a couple had such a conversation there would be long lasting repercussions emotionally and to a lesser extent psychologically depending on the nature of the situation being discussed. In the case of the conversation relating to past relationships, one partner talking about how great their past relationships were will result in the other feeling completely outclassed and outgunned as compared to having the same conversation with a friend who may not have been there to witness such escapades. The reality of the situation is that couples have greater feelings on the line and greater care is required in order to maintain their balance.
Seems simple but the real complication now enters where there are friendships where such care is required. These friendships are much more complicated and while they may not necessarily involve the intimacy level of a couple, some does exist and that's a fact. It becomes worst when the individuals are from either gender as this mix of contact and understanding becomes confusing for either party. The reason for this confusion is that the relations resemble the courting process between a potential couple to a great extent. If your having trouble believing me then allow me to clarify with the following example; a boy likes a girl and begins the courting process, the two have met via a mutual friend and begin conversing to discover details about the other, meanwhile a girl has just met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday party and during the introductions discover that he not only favours the same types of food as she does but also the same taste in music so they begin to converse to see what else they have in common. So far we have two similar meetings under two different circumstances, BUT the outcome is the SAME where the two end up furthering their discussions for the same purposes. So now fast forward to some moons later where we check up on our four individuals to see how they're doing, turns out that the couple to be end up together after the courting period, we all know how that goes, lots of quality time together, dinner, movie, maybe go a couple social event together, but the whole world can see that something is up with them until the revelation. The friends who have similar tastes however find themselves in the same situation, in an attempt to build their friendship, they go out to social events together, call each other constantly conversing at random hours about various topics, even do dinner together or with mutual friends. Soon the world notices that these so called friends seem to have a deeper connection than a simple friendship, the level of intimacy outside of the social circle is clear for all to see for it permeates into the general public as the friendship grows. If any of this sounds familiar, then you're in more than a friendship my friend, you're in what is known as a platonic relationship where friends flirt and relate to each other to the level of a couple. The thing is with these types of relationships are the levels of complications that come with them, there's no telling who's who and where the each stands with the other because after a while you become exclusive to your "friend." In case your not following still, the truth of the matter is that when friendships evolve to this level, you're not even allowed to have other friends and a full blown relationship is imminent.
Now before you go running off and telling your "friend" that there are more than friendship feelings involved, you'll need to be sure that the timing is correct. It's a well known fact that some people take longer than others to confess their true feelings because they themselves are unable to assess what's going on. The truth must be seen that just as you are confused as to the extent of feelings involved, the friend is just as confused. It's much wiser to test for particular signs that more than a friendship is at work. The signs are simple yet complicated, for example, if you notice that she's a bit more touchy than you're accustomed to then that's a sign that things are stepping up. Even if the conversations between you two or more become more intense in terms of how you feel about each other then chances are you're facing more than a friendship. Think about it you might either be heading for bliss or destruction...............................................................................................................................
The truth of the matter is that understanding friends and comprehending lovers are two parallel topics with very little in common. Friends who seemingly maintain a level of understanding that go beyond the normal level of social interaction are just that, there's no intimacy that qualifies them to be anything else but two or more people who share common interests and an understanding of each other that involves no intimacy whatsoever. People who share this understanding have either been in the same social environment for an extended period of time or have discovered that they share similar thought patterns and experiences in life. The real difference has to be in the level of relations between the individuals as this is where the line is often confused. Truth be told, friends can relate to each other much easier than couples as the expectation of compromise is less as well as the consequences of the relations. A good example of this would be the types of conversations that occur between friends and couples, it is far easier to tell a friend than your significant other about your past relationships and escapades as the expectation is that the friend can only make a light comment or even laugh depending on the nature of the event, but there will be NO judgmental stares or feelings being offended because missing from that correspondence will be the INTIMATE feelings that will exist in a relationship between couples. If a couple had such a conversation there would be long lasting repercussions emotionally and to a lesser extent psychologically depending on the nature of the situation being discussed. In the case of the conversation relating to past relationships, one partner talking about how great their past relationships were will result in the other feeling completely outclassed and outgunned as compared to having the same conversation with a friend who may not have been there to witness such escapades. The reality of the situation is that couples have greater feelings on the line and greater care is required in order to maintain their balance.
Seems simple but the real complication now enters where there are friendships where such care is required. These friendships are much more complicated and while they may not necessarily involve the intimacy level of a couple, some does exist and that's a fact. It becomes worst when the individuals are from either gender as this mix of contact and understanding becomes confusing for either party. The reason for this confusion is that the relations resemble the courting process between a potential couple to a great extent. If your having trouble believing me then allow me to clarify with the following example; a boy likes a girl and begins the courting process, the two have met via a mutual friend and begin conversing to discover details about the other, meanwhile a girl has just met a guy at a mutual friend's birthday party and during the introductions discover that he not only favours the same types of food as she does but also the same taste in music so they begin to converse to see what else they have in common. So far we have two similar meetings under two different circumstances, BUT the outcome is the SAME where the two end up furthering their discussions for the same purposes. So now fast forward to some moons later where we check up on our four individuals to see how they're doing, turns out that the couple to be end up together after the courting period, we all know how that goes, lots of quality time together, dinner, movie, maybe go a couple social event together, but the whole world can see that something is up with them until the revelation. The friends who have similar tastes however find themselves in the same situation, in an attempt to build their friendship, they go out to social events together, call each other constantly conversing at random hours about various topics, even do dinner together or with mutual friends. Soon the world notices that these so called friends seem to have a deeper connection than a simple friendship, the level of intimacy outside of the social circle is clear for all to see for it permeates into the general public as the friendship grows. If any of this sounds familiar, then you're in more than a friendship my friend, you're in what is known as a platonic relationship where friends flirt and relate to each other to the level of a couple. The thing is with these types of relationships are the levels of complications that come with them, there's no telling who's who and where the each stands with the other because after a while you become exclusive to your "friend." In case your not following still, the truth of the matter is that when friendships evolve to this level, you're not even allowed to have other friends and a full blown relationship is imminent.
Now before you go running off and telling your "friend" that there are more than friendship feelings involved, you'll need to be sure that the timing is correct. It's a well known fact that some people take longer than others to confess their true feelings because they themselves are unable to assess what's going on. The truth must be seen that just as you are confused as to the extent of feelings involved, the friend is just as confused. It's much wiser to test for particular signs that more than a friendship is at work. The signs are simple yet complicated, for example, if you notice that she's a bit more touchy than you're accustomed to then that's a sign that things are stepping up. Even if the conversations between you two or more become more intense in terms of how you feel about each other then chances are you're facing more than a friendship. Think about it you might either be heading for bliss or destruction...............................................................................................................................
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