Seeing Stars

Seems there's alot on my mind these days, the more I think about it the worst it gets, the struggle with the mind games people play is more than I can handle. It's to the point that now I'm feeling inadequate to even be on the same planet as these crazies. Maybe I ought to have a sham relationship with a lesbian and leave it as is, at least that way I'll know where I stand and not be at risk to unnecessary pain and torment. Marriage means nothing to society, infidelity is the new fame, there's a trophy count for how may heads you can scalp in the bedroom and they're very proud to say their numbers are high. I don't belong with these people, their thinking is below my reach, their ideals are corrupted at best with enough torment to make saints give up their holy ways. These do indeed reek of the last days with even the church being infiltrated by the shenanigans of a cruel world. It's so bad such things as manners and courtesy are seen as hints of sexual flirtation, can't even say good morning without being bludgeoned with eyes of wrath or an insincere wave off.
The worst part about all this is that people now look to exploit my good nature, the more they say they won't is the more they do. Last night a so called friend asked me for $1500 to go make a purchase while she shipped out her husband and moved in the   outside man. Neither of these guys could give you the money you need? You having sex with both but I'm your pocket crutch?? No eh! It never has and will never be that way, one day I will stop believe your fake words and move past you again because I realize that your at the point where I'm now a convenience again. Interesting how that works but thankfully I'm not falling for it, in a time not so far back I would have been yearning for your attention but not when I know better and am doing better. I see the games you play and I see how you try to manipulate me into giving up my bricks to build your shaky house. I won't fall for it and you will not ever trap me like that again, pseudo friendship is worst than true enemies, I prefer the enemy who is honest enough to let me know we are energy.it's than the spy who uses guile and deceit to fabricate a friendship that's really a convenience.
I've seen u all, I've seen u all try hard to derail me and I will not be led off course. If I have to stay in the shadow of my own home to keep away from you people I will and that will give me the peace I need.
One day I'll look back on this stage and wonder how I ever let you bother me this much, but I'll always remember that it was the false friend and not the enemy who wanted to see me never do better

Trapped in Prison

Oh wow, here we go with the untrustworthy people again, the games people play with the emotions of others are the reason why the world is not enough. I've felt the brunt of this before, an affair that caused my life to end, turned my world upside down and made me into a tormented man. I get that your marriage wasnt the best, not sure what marriage is but you cheat on a man you took vows to honour and protect, to defend and love, to uphold in sickness and health, you violated those vows because you felt slighted and spent moons pretending all was well and for what? So you could run wild with a dj and live out your party days? The confusion that is people amazes me, you want to be settled but you want to settle in an arena which poisons homes. They say a rose can grow in even concrete, they also say it grows alone in concrete so yes it will stand out much like the Lotus in the swamp but that's because it's all alone with poisonous marsh around it. After it wilts out of season no one cares anymore and it dies slowly until it's time to blossom again.

I've said all I needed to about your mess, you made it and you're the one making your mother's words come to pass. She said what she said because you never listen, you never heeded her warnings and look at that you're now living the exact same life she did. They really say youth is wasted on the young, you won't see the error of your ways til it's too late because as far as you go you're right to do what you're doing to those whom you say you care for. Yea well I'll be at a distance living safely and virus free, I've not forgotten when you were deathly afraid you'd contracted syphilis after you sold your body for a few days in a BMW with that other crazy chic. After all that you still haven't realized that it's the ease in which you lower your standards that causes you to end up in these messes, maybe one day my friend you will heed my words and stop being a sex toy to people who aren't interested in seeing you rise or sadly you may end upon the grave earlier than planned of worst doomed to a life of suffering before you even get to hell